Bubble Wrap
by cool-nick-miller
Summary: Nick and Jess had always straddled the boundary of friendship and 'something more', but when Nick starts a new relationship, Jess finds herself struggling to deal with the feelings that surface. *A little Nick/Jess love story set around S1-2 before Ness became a thing* Ch14 is M rated *I don't own anything related to New Girl*
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE:

It was a busy Friday night at the bar. People were buzzing with the excitement of the weekend, music was playing, alcohol was flowing, and the atmosphere was high. Nick loved nights like this. When work didn't really feel like *work*. Stood behind the dark mahogany of the bar, he surveyed his territory and smiled. Tonight was going to be a good night, he could feel it.

Winston was sat at on a stool at the end of the bar attempting to speak to a petite blonde who, frankly, was clearly unimpressed by his efforts. But he persisted none-the-less. Nick shook his head and laughed to himself - Winnie needed to get himself some game!

Schmidt walked in, still dressed in his suit and straight from the office.

"Hey, man!" cheered Nick, extending an arm in greeting and setting down a drink ready for him.

"Greetings, Nicholas." he replied, sliding on to his seat "Bottoms up..." and he sank the drink in one before demanding "Another, my good fellow!"

Nick grimaced and sighed "Don't call me that, Schmidt. We're not living in the fifties! Bad day?"

"You could say that. Gina is riding my ass so hard on this new client pitch coming up. I mean, usually I'd like that kinda move" he wiggled his eyebrows and laughed as Nick stuck out his tongue and replied "Bleurgh, Jar!"

"I have to have the pitch completed by the end of the week, on top of the million other projects she's passed off to me in the last month. So, yes. Bad day to the extre..." he stopped mid-sentence as his gaze reached the entrance to see Cece and Jess arrive "...oh, but it is about to get a LOT better Nicholas!" Schmidt grinned as he followed their path to the bar with his eyes.

"You have got to give it up, man! Cece is way out of your league" Nick chuckled "You know it and she knows it!" He laid a playful hand of condolence on his friends shoulder.

"I'll NEVER give up, Nick. Never." Schmidt said with a certainty that Nick didn't doubt, before turning to greet the approaching duo "Oh, hi Jess. What up, Cecelia?"

Nick said his hello's, but not before noticing how nice Jess's hair looked tonight all pinned up in a messy bun with strands flopping down to frame her face. She caught his gaze over her glasses and smiled that big, goofy grin of hers "Hey, Miller!"

He nodded at her, returning the smile "Hi, Day...' then turned to serve the growing swell of customers who had entered the bar. He *was* working after all.

A small group of women caught his eye at the far end of the counter. They'd been here a lot recently and always ended up a little rowdy by the end of the night. Bracing himself, he headed over to take their order.

...

The club was noisy and the thumping bass was starting to give Sarah a headache. This was not her kind of place. She'd agreed to go out with some new work colleagues from the art gallery but was now questioning her judgement. She felt so out of place among the fancy cocktails, glitzy dresses and indoor sunglass wearers. In fact, she'd go as far as to say this was her nightmare. Standing in the throng of people, she tried to find her way back from the ladies room to the other girls.

Danielle and Candace were stood discussing some fancy man or another and Rachel was perched on some kind of arty seating that looked like a torture device. She stood as Sarah approached and offered a small glass with orange liquid inside. Sarah declined and they all yelled at her

"Boooo!"

"Come on, join the fun!"

"Loosen up a little!"

"I'm plenty loose enough!" defended Sarah, tugging her skirt down slightly. She'd borrowed it from Danielle and it was much shorter than she felt comfortable with. "I just can't hear myself think in here, I need some air" the words sounded feeble as she said them and she kicked herself inwardly for looking so uncool. Great job, you fool.

"Ok, so we'll come with you" offered Candace, feeling slightly sorry for their new pal "we'll take a walk down to that old man bar you seem to like opposite your apartment" she chuckled.

"Ahh, but is it the BAR she likes, or the BARTENDER? That's the real question!" Exclaimed Rachel, digging Sarah in the ribs as she did so.

"Ow! What? No, I...I don't..." She tried to protest but their raised eyebrows made her stop, a small smile creeping across her face "Ok, fine. So he's easy on the eye! What's wrong with that?" They all laughed and headed off to the cloakroom before setting off into the cool Spring night.

...

Nick stood in front of the gaggle of women, bar towel resting over his right shoulder.

"What'll it be, ladies?" He asked, rubbing his hands together.

"Pitcher of Sex on the Beach, barkeep!" Shouted Danielle, louder than she intended.

"Make that two!" Rachel clambered over her friend, arms raised before slamming on the counter top.

"No, three!" squealed Candace "THREE BIG, FAT, PITCHERS OF SEX ON THE BEACH!"

Nick winced. First at their very obvious inebriation, secondly at their taste in alcoholic beverages. Then he noticed a fourth member of the party. Smaller than the others, and looking far more sober.

"And for you? The same?" He raised his eyebrows in question.

Before Sarah had a chance to answer, Danielle butted in with an exaggerated eye roll "Oh no, she doesn't DO silly cocktails!"

"So...?" Nick probed

Sarah thought for a second then said "Um...I'll have an Old Fashioned. Please."

Nick paused, and pursed his lips. "Good choice" he said with a tip of his head.

She felt her cheeks pinken slightly as he did so, but desperately hoped no one would notice.

A few moments later, Nick returned with their order and the three drunken friends hurried off ahead with their drinks. He placed the Old Fashioned down in front of Sarah who stayed sat at the bar for a moment.

"If you don't mind me saying, that's a bit of an unusual drink for a lady like you to be ordering"

She looked up at him, brown eyes with lashes longer than he'd ever seen, and she seemed caught off guard by his statement.

"Oh, really?" She said "Er, well, I...I've always like them. My grandfather used to drink them..." Sarah trailed off, suddenly feeling self conscious as she became acutely aware of his gaze on her.

Nick smiled softly "Well, then he must be a man of impeccable taste"

"He was." she replied, slightly sadder than she had intended.

The loss of her grandfather 6 months ago was still painful to think about.

"I should go catch up with...well, with them" she nodded to her friends, laughing wildly in a booth near the jukebox "Thank you" she raised her glass in his direction and he raised his hand back by way of a goodbye.

Nick found himself watching her as she re-joined the group, her dark blonde hair hung loose down to her shoulders, curling at the bottom. She had small features, almost pixie like - but in a cute way, thought Nick, before being called away for another order.


	2. Chapter 2

Nick leant his forearms on the mahogany of the bar and chuckled as he watched Winston make himself at home in the booth occupied by Sarah and her friends. Winnie hadn't been invited, of course, but he had been welcomed eagerly by the girls none-the-less. The more the merrier, Rachel had declared. He was currently sandwiched between Candace and Danielle - a cocktail umbrella placed behind each ear - all three throwing their heads back in exaggerated laughter as he helped them drain the last pitcher of drink.  
Rachel was stood at the jukebox, finishing her selection and starting a drunken little shimmy as the music rang out. She turned to see the others join her, Winston holding a hand each and twirling them simultaneously.  
"Hey Sarah! We're waiting!" Teased Danielle, still spinning to the song.  
She waved them away with a laugh 'Nooo, no. I'm good here thanks!' and stuck her tongue out at them in response to their boo-ing.  
It's not that she didn't like to dance, heck she loved it, just not under the gaze of other people. Nope, she'd be just fine sat watching from the sidelines, thanks very much.

Jess took a seat at the bar, placing her red, heart-shaped purse down on the counter before craning her neck behind her.  
"What am I watching here?!" she asked, amused  
"Winston Bishop on cocktails is really something to behold" Nick laughed back "He becomes this totally different person - It's why I won't make them for him anymore!"  
"Oh, I don't know. I kinda like it. You know, seeing him not strike out for a change!" Jess chuckled as she turned her face back to him, noting for probably a few seconds too long the way the rolled up sleeves of his shirt showed off the tanned skin on his arms.  
One thing was for sure, Nick Miller certainly knew how to wear the hell out of black button down. She wasn't quite sure when she had first started noticing that, but lately she had definitely found herself appreciating his choice of work wear.  
"More drinks?"  
Her eyes snapped up to meet his at the question. "Uh. Yes...Yes! More drinks, that's what I'm here for!" She cleared her throat and laughed awkwardly.  
At this, Schmidt was by her side. Tie now removed and collar open, this was as casual as he came.  
"Jess!" He hissed "What is taking you so long?! My beautiful Cecelia is sat over yonder with a mouth as dry as the Sahara and I will not have it for a moment longer!"  
Jess raised a hand to correct him 'Cece is not YOUR beautiful anything, Schmidt, OK? Let us just be clear on that!" She warned.  
Ignoring her words, he turned and spoke directly to Nick "My Indian goddess must be kept hydrated at all times - Pick up the pace, Nicholas!"  
"Will you stop it with that?" Nick replied, exasperated "I'll bring the drinks over in a minute, just cool it, man!" he pointed for him to return in the direction he came from.  
Before obliging, Schmidt leaned right over the bar and in a fake whisper he addressed Nick "Oh, and FYI, the cute blonde with Winston has been checking you out all night. Go get her, tiger - apparently chubby, under washed bartenders must do it for her!"  
"Get outta here, Schmidt!" Nick scowled, neglecting to mention to his friend that he had full well noticed said 'cute blonde' already. He allowed himself to look over in her direction, and sure enough he caught her gaze.  
Sarah looked away almost instantly, embarrassed to have been caught stealing a glance at the only reason she came to this bar every week.

...

The night was drawing to a close and the bar was beginning to empty. Regulars were drifting out on to the streets and the hum of atmosphere was slowly dying down. The only group still drinking were, of course, Winston and the girls. Nick had observed with growing distain the fruity cocktails take their grip on his pal. There was no saving him now, better to just embrace the crazy that was unfolding before his eyes.  
Schmidt, Cece and Jess were all perched on bar stools, watching Winston with differing levels of amusement.  
"Do you think we should rescue him?" Jess thought out loud, with a tilt of her head, as she saw him try to balance on a table with the help of his drunken counterparts.  
"Winston! What are you doing?!" Yelled Nick, hands placed firmly at his hips. He'd seen this before, and it almost never ended well.  
"I got this, man!" Winston tried to reassure them. "Y'all about to see something amazing!" he clapped his hands in preparation, steadying himself on the shoulder of Candace who was stood next to him.  
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" she giggled, too drunk to really care.  
"Yeah, baby! You ain't seen nothin' till you've seen my impression of Peter Pan!"  
Just as he was about to take off from the table into certain pain, Schmidt and Cece had reached him just in time to grab a leg each and stop him in his tracks.  
"What are you doin'? I was just about to get my Neverland on..." Winston was clearly disappointed.  
"Get down, Winston. Now." instructed Cece  
"You are the dumbest boy in school!" Chastised Schmidt, with a shake of his head. "Show's over ladies, I think we need to get this Lost Boy back home"  
There was a chorus of protest, and a deal was finally struck - one more song, one more dance, one more shot and all would leave peacefully.  
Rachel made her way to the jukebox, calling to Sarah as she did "You! You have to get up and dance now. No more excuses!"  
"Ah, ohh, no...please, I'm good here" Sarah's head was fuzzy with all the Old Fashioned she had put away and she wasn't entirely sure she could co-ordinate her feet enough to dance without falling on her face anyway. Plus, from here she had a perfect view.  
Seeing her gaze head once again to the bar, a mischievous glint rose in Rachel's eyes and she teased "Oh...oh, I know what would change your mind!" she quickly spun towards the bar and called over in Nick's direction "Hey! Hey, Mr Barman! Come and dance with us, won't you?" and beckoned him with her finger  
"No can do, ladies" replied Nick, with a shake of his head "First rule of bartending: You never cross the bar!" he shrugged his shoulders by way of an apology.  
She pouted and continued "But my friend Sarah here would really, really like to see you shake your thang-"  
"Rachel!" Sarah cried, wishing she could sink into the leather of the seat and disappear.

Nick smiled to himself at her obvious embarrassment. He'd noticed the way she had been looking at him, and if he was honest he kinda liked it. It gave him a buzz, to feel like the most attractive man in the bar to her. It had been a while since someone made him feel that way.  
Just then, the song selection changed, and a collective mash up of cheers and groans went up as Cotton-Eyed Joe rang out.  
Jess laughed as Nick couldn't help but fist-pump to the beat.  
"Come on" she said as she held out a hand to him over the bar hatch "we're going to dance!" and raised her brow.  
"Jess, no" he frowned.  
It wasn't that he didn't like dancing. He hated it. His body just didn't move the way a normal body should to music.  
"Nicholas, you know you want to. This is your jam!" She insisted, her blue eyes telling him that she would not take no for an answer.  
He rolled his eyes heavenwards and sighed, taking hold of her outstretched hand and crossing over from his safety net on the other side of the counter.  
For some reason, she had a way of making him agree to things even when he really didn't want to do them. Jessica Damn Day.

They joined the rest of the group, already deep in the throes of their dosey doe's, with the exception of Sarah - of course - who was still sat in the booth, suddenly short of breath as she saw him approach.  
Dropping Jess's grasp, Nick left her side and headed towards the booth. He stopped by her table, a small smile on his face as he offered her his hand.  
"If I have to, then so do you"  
It was more of an instruction than a request, and one she couldn't refuse regardless. Swallowing hard and willing her legs to work, she nodded and stood up. She took his hand and felt giddy as his fingers gripped hers and he led her to the others where they participated in mutual, awkward dancing and a healthy dose of laughs.

Jess had watched the whole exchange unfold before her. She had frowned inwardly when Nick had left her side and walked off to the 'cute blonde'. It left a bad taste in her mouth.  
It tasted like disappointment.


	3. Chapter 3

_***A/N - Just a note to reassure readers that this IS essentially a Nick and Jess story. I know a few people aren't keen on the introduction of Sarah, but please bear with me. It's important to the story and the path Nick and Jess are on! Please do read, review and share. I'd really appreciate it. Thank you!***_

CHAPTER THREE:

The next evening, everyone was gathered at the loft. Winston and Nick sat watching tv whilst sinking beers, Schmidt was cleaning the kitchen after having cooked up a storm within it, and Jess was reading at the dining table.

She was still feeling a little strange after last night and couldn't understand why. On the one hand, she was genuinely happy for Nick that he'd hit it off so well with the girl at the bar. After all, she *was* the one who got him over there to dance in the first place.

Gold star for wing woman duties.

On the other hand...it just felt a little odd.

She and Nick had always had a complicated relationship. They were friends. Great friends. Great friends who drove each other insane on a daily basis.

But, there had always been something deeper, something they shared that she didn't have with Winston or Schmidt - as much as she loved them too.

She and Nick walked along a precarious line between friendship and *something more*.

It was never mentioned, always going unspoken, but was acknowledged mutually through their small actions of care towards one another.

Like the way he let her bury her face in his chest when they watched scary movies.

Or the way she ironed his button downs for him, because he hated doing the sleeves.

They straddled the boundaries on a daily basis but that was just how it had always been. And it was fine.

Wasn't it?

She was deep in thought, worrying her bottom lip and paying no attention to the book she was attempting to read, when a body sank itself into the chair opposite her.

"Hey, kid"

It was Nick.

Her eyes shot up and she straightened in her seat.

"Hey!" She replied, trying to sound cheerful.

"You ok, Jess?" He furrowed his brow "You've been pretty quiet tonight. The lack of singing is starting to worry Winston" he laughed softly, but there was a trace of concern in his words.

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm good...i'mmm gooooood!" She made sure to sing the last part, adding a double thumbs up for good measure.

"I was just thinking about the prep for the loft party in a few weeks. Still lots to do, Nicholas!" Jess continued.

Their annual loft party was always fun. They timed it to coincide with Remy's yearly holiday trip to visit his sister, so as not to arouse suspicion when the drinking and frivolity naturally got out of hand, and inevitably ended with a game of True American that none of them could remember the following morning.

"Jessica Day, have you learned nothing about me at all?" Schmidt interjected, leaving the kitchen with hands on hips, still wearing his marigolds "My 'Loft Party Extravaganza' spreadsheet has been prepared for the past six months. I have a detailed breakdown of all required elements which I have taken the liberty of assigning to each of you well in advance!"

Nick and Jess exchanged raised eyebrows across the table.

"Ok, Schmidt" she indulged him "What can I do to help"

"Oh, there's only one item on your list, Jess. But it is arguably the most important one"

"Oooooh! How exciting" she clapped her hands together "what is it? The music? You know I have this awesome playlist I've been putting together for when I crochet_"

Schmidt raised his hand to silence her, the look of disgust clear on his face.

"Please, Jess, let's leave the music to the adults, shall we. No, your one and only job is to ensure safe passage and arrival of the tanned skinned beauty that is_"

"Cece" groaned Jess and Nick simultaneously, with much eye rolling.

"Yes, Cece" replied Schmidt pointedly.

"You got it, Schmidt" answered Jess. A soft smile creeping across her face. She'd seen the way he looked at her best friend. Like she was the only woman in the room, and she couldn't lie - it was pretty darn adorable.

He went on to demand Winston arrange sufficient alcohol levels were provided. He, himself, would be responsible for music, lighting, decoration, snacks. He sure did like to host.

"What about me?" Questioned Nick

"Uh. Well, Nick, your slot is currently empty. I've yet to find a task to entrust you with that wouldn't ruin the party when you inevitably mess it up" Schmidt answered honestly.

"Hey, man! I'm trustworthy! I can do this, just gimme a damn task" Nick was visibly irritated.

"Well, that's debatable, given last years decoration fiasco" Schmidt shuddered at the memory of crude paper chains and tin foil party hats before sighing "but, if you must insist, then I guess you can collect the cupcakes on the day"

"You got it, consider Couple Cakes taken care of"

Jess let out a loud snort before asking through her laughter "Wait...Nick...did you...? Did you just refer to them as 'Couple Cakes'?"

Nick glowered at her "Why is that funny?"

"Because that's not what they're called!" she furrowed her brow at him "That doesn't make any sense what-so-ever!" Jess said, incredulous.

"It makes perfect sense, Jess!" His face was screwed up in annoyance "you ever see anybody buy just one? No! You buy a 'couple cakes'...'cupcakes'." He shrugged "It makes perfect sense!" His voice growing louder as his frustration rose at being called out on his misunderstanding.

"Cupcake isn't an abbreviation, Nick!" Her voice now as loud as his, irritated more than she should be. "It's just cupcake! It's what they're called - Cupcakes!"

"Stop yelling 'cupcakes' at me!" He demanded, before getting to his feet and walking away from the table, muttering "Ya damn know-it-all!"

Jess gasped in offence.

How dare he.

Stupid Nick Miller and his stupid made up words. He was so damned infuriating! Now she was sat all riled up with fire in her belly and nowhere to direct it.

"That went well" said Schmidt with a shake of his head. "Well done Jess, now you're gonna put him in a terrible mood for his date tonight! He's gonna be all kinds of grumpy and she'll walk away faster than if she saw him in his disgusting night gown"

His date? Thought Jess, swallowing hard.

Nick had a date.

With Sarah.

Tonight.

...

Nick strode into his room and slammed the door. He paced the floor, fists clenched.

Stupid Jessica Day and her smart-ass attitude. Always knowing better than everybody else. She was so damned infuriating! Now he was stood there all riled up with fire in his belly and nowhere to direct it.

He was already nervous about his date with Sarah tonight. It had been a while since he had taken anyone out on a proper date and he really wanted this to go well. He liked her.

Now Jess had put him in a bad mood by embarrassing him in front of the others and it was the last thing he needed. How did she always know how to press all the wrong buttons and drive him certifiably insane? He threw himself face first onto his bed and buried his head in his pillow, groaning loudly.

There was a soft knock at the door. "Nick?" came a small voice.

Jess.

He sighed. Her timing was the worst. "Go away" he mumbled, face still nuzzled into his bed.

"What?"

"Go away!" he repeated, louder.

She ignored him and turned the handle slowly, opening the door just enough so he could see her face peeking through. She looked concerned.

"Nick, I'm sorry"

He closed his eyes, rolling over and covering his face with his hands. With another deep sigh, he stood up and went to the door. This was the other thing about Jess that drove him mad - she made it impossible to be fed up with her for long. With her big blue eyes, full of concern, and her voice all soft and caring. It was sweet as hell, and he hated that it instantly made him drop his guard.

Opening the door, he fixed her with a gaze and she gave him a crooked, apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of the guys about the whole..." she lowered her voice "...*cupcake* thing"

"It's fine, Jess" he replied softly "I'm sorry I called you a know-it-all, even though it *is* true" he dipped his head and laughed and she opened her mouth to protest, before acknowledging that it was, indeed, correct. She was a know-it-all.

"I hope I haven't dampened your mood before the big date" She said

"Ugh. Schmidt told you?' Nick groaned "Might as well just put up a billboard: Nick Miller, making awful dates a regular occurrence!" He winced.

Jess frowned. "Awful dates? What are you talking about, Miller. You'll be fine!"

He sighed and levelled his gaze to hers "Can I be honest with ya, Jess? I'm kinda nervous. I haven't done this in a while, and I want it to go well. Sarah seems great, and I don't wanna screw up at the first hurdle"

Jess took a deep breath, folding down the edge of his collar "Just relax, Nicholas. Be yourself"

"That's what I'm worried about" he pouted

She fixed her eyes on his and added with a smile "You know, you're a pretty likeable guy around 80% of the time"

"Thanks Jess"

"What are friends for?" Came her reply.


	4. Chapter 4

Considering Nick was feeling nervous, he had hidden it very well. Dressed in a crisp white shirt, smart trousers, and freshly shaven, he looked the picture of calm as Sarah had met him at the fancy restaurant he'd booked. She'd arrived fashionably late, giving him that stomach sinking feeling of not quite knowing whether he'd been stood up or not for a good fifteen minutes until she rushed in through the door, wearing a knee-length navy blue dress that hugged in all the right places. She was full of apologies but he waved them away, lying that he'd only just arrived himself.

They took a seat, ordered drinks, and ate some ridiculously small plates of food. Both were pleased to find that conversation had flowed as easily as the alcohol they were consuming. Nick noted with appreciation that she certainly liked her liquor. Not only that, but she had matched him drink for drink so far. Quite a feat. She laughed heartily at his jokes, and listened genuinely when the topic of conversation had somehow, regrettably, veered onto his failed relationship with Caroline and the subsequent misery he had endured. Worrying he had dampened the buoyant mood of the night, Nick tried to steer the subject back to Sarah.

"So, you work at the art gallery, huh?" he asked

"I do." she confirmed with a nod "It's early days, still settling myself in. It's not really my world...I prefer to create the art rather than display it" she said with a wry laugh

"No kidding?" Nick raised a brow, intrigued "You're an artist?"

"Well, I'm trying to be" Sarah tucked a strand of hair that had escaped from her side plait back behind her ear "but unsold paintings don't exactly pay the bills, so...for now...I work at the gallery." she gave a small shrug, a little embarrassed at her admission.

They were interrupted by their waitress appearing at the table, and suddenly became aware that they were the last customers still in the restaurant. Nick sheepishly asked for the bill and tried to hide the look of shock in his eyes when he saw the cheque, a tight smile plastered on his face. Sarah offered to pay her share several times, but was refused vehemently by a shake of his head.

"No, I got this." Nick insisted "Can't be stealing food from the mouth of a struggling artist now, can I? I mean, I'm making the big bucks as a bartender right now, so this_" he held he bill aloft "is just...it's nothing!" causing them both to laugh.

"You really love it at that bar, don't you?" Sarah asked, her eyes shining "you always look so *comfortable* behind the counter"

"You know, I really do" Nick replied, sincerity clear in his voice "You might not believe this, but I actually went to law school_" the surprise across her face making him smile and lean in closer to her "_for real, I was studying to be a lawyer. But, I quit, because that wasn't *my* world."

His turn to shrug

"I went to work at the bar, and I've never regretted it once. Not once."

He meant it. He'd never felt more at home than when he was behind that counter. The regulars were like family. Intoxicated, rowdy, sometimes grumpy family. But he loved it.

"Well, I hear lawyers and their money are overrated anyway" she teased

"Is that so?" Nick cocked his head

"Oh, yeah!" Sarah continued with an exaggerated wave of her hand "A man with a six figure salary, his own home AND a pension plan? No thanks! I prefer mine living on the bread line, smelling of alcohol and peanuts" she laughed, before meeting his gaze and wondering if she'd let the booze loosen her tongue a bit too much and whether she should perhaps reign it in a little.

Instead, Nick rose from his seat and offered his arm to her. "Then let's get outta here!" He declared.

...

Once outside, the fresh air made Sarah suddenly aware of how giddy she was feeling from the intoxicating mixture of alcohol and the presence of this delightful man currently stood at her side, cradling her arm in the crook of his and smelling divine. She held on a little tighter to steady herself before they continued up the street, neither of them entirely sure where they were heading to, but happy to see where the night would take them.

A little way down, they passed a small pizzeria, the smell of dough and pepperoni wafting past them. Nick's stomach grumbled. The tiny portions at the restaurant had barely been enough to satisfy his hunger. He stopped outside the door and turned to her sheepishly.

"I'm so sorry!" he grimaced "but do you...uh, would you...mind if I just...stop in here? Am I a terrible person?!"

"You'd only be a terrible person if you didn't share your pizza with me..." Sarah replied with a smirk, and Nick could barely hide his relief as they ducked into the store.

"If I had known you were a pizza and beer kinda gal, I coulda just saved myself $100!" he shook his head in feigned irritation before grinning at her.

"Well, next time the pizza is on me" she offered

"Next time, huh?" Nick raised his eyebrows

"What can I say? I'm a sucker for a deep pan" Sarah laughed, her brown eyes dancing in the lowered lights.

...

The loft was dark when they stumbled through the door, Nick closing it behind them with his foot and expertly guiding her towards his room whilst they continued kissing in their drunken stupor. If he was honest, this wasn't quite how he thought the evening was going to end, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't thrilled at the developments unfolding.

The rest of the guys appeared to be asleep, judging by the silence. Even better, he thought, no awkward interruptions and meetings in the hallway.

Pushing his bedroom door shut, they giggled as the two of them tripped and fell against it. Those beers at the pizza place had clearly tipped them over the line of merry to completely and utterly drunk. With over enthusiastic shushing, they righted themselves and started kissing again, this time leaning against the door for the stability that neither of them was currently capable of. Nick started tugging at Sarah's dress, eagerly trying to remove it over her head whilst walking her backwards across the room and dropping his pants at the same time, causing them both to topple on to his bed and dissolve into fits of giggles once again.

"I'm sorry" he slurred "I won't pretend to have a lot of game...but, what I do have is usually better than this!" he continued, before snorting into her hair.

Sarah looked at him, her face suddenly serious "I'm currently lying here with my dress halfway over my head and my underwear on display. I think I win the no game contest!" she fixed him with a wonky smile, before pulling him above her.

"Probably best to just get on with it then?" he asked, whilst pulling her dress the rest off the way over her head.

"Probably" she whispered back, her grin disappearing beneath his lips.

...

Jess had woken early. She'd planned on doing some work before going into school that morning, but the battery on her laptop had died during the night and she was damned if she could find the charger. Muttering curses to herself, she searched her room fruitlessly before remembering that she had leant it to Nick the other day.

Of course he still had it!

Nick Miller never returned the things he borrowed!

She padded out of her room and, after hearing him singing to 'Groove is in the Heart' from the shower at the other end of the hall, had assumed she didn't need to knock before pushing his bedroom door open.

She assumed wrong.

Upon hearing the mutual screaming of the two women, Nick had bolted out of the bathroom after grabbing his towel and ran down the hall to find Jess open mouthed and flustered in his doorway. Sarah was wide-eyed and red faced, trying to cover her modesty with his sheets.

"Jess! What are you doing?!" He yelled, leading her back into the hallway and trying to pull the door closed to block her view of Sarah still in his bed.

"I...I..." Jess stammered, her eyes still fixed behind him

"Quit staring!" he hissed, trying to keep his voice low

"I'm not staring!" She protested "I was just taken by surprise, is all!"

"Yeah, no kidding. I'm pretty sure Sarah was too! You can't just go barging into my room, Jessica. We have the knocking rule for a *very* good reason" he glared at her, neither one of them wanting to mention his naked Jamaican dancing at this moment, but both fully aware what he was making reference to.

Jess blinked at him for a moment. Not quite sure what to say.

"I'm sorry" she offered meekly, before saying it again louder, directed over his shoulder towards the bed "I'm sorry, Sarah! Um. Nice to...meet...you..." Jess shrugged and offered an apologetic glance in response to Nick's look of frustration.

"Goodbye, Jess" he said through gritted teeth as he stepped back into his room and closed the door on her.

She stood in silence for a moment before suddenly realising that she had left without the item she'd gone there for in the first place. Jess grabbed the door handle again, this time being sure to knock loudly. Several times.

"What now, Jessica?!" came Nick's exasperated voice

Peeking into the room, and avoiding anyone's gaze, she explained the saga of her laptop battery, the missing charger and her urgent report.

"It's on the desk" he sighed, waving her in.

Jess dashed across the room, grabbed her charger and then span on her heel to thank him. She stopped in her tracks at the sight of Nick perched on the end of his bed, still wearing his towel, and the small blonde next to him. Sarah was still wrapped in his sheets.

It unexpectedly caused Jess to draw in a small, sharp breath before choking out a strangled "Thanks" and running back to her own room.

She closed the door and slid down to the floor. Her face was flushed and her heart was pounding. She felt sick, angry, sad all at once and had no idea why. She tried to swallow down the taste of bile riding up from her stomach.

'What on earth is up with you?!' She thought, running a hand over her face and forcing herself to take some deep breaths to regain composure.

Nick had had girls over plenty of times before now.

Many a naked night guest.

Many.

Not once had it ever bothered her before.

Not once.

'But this time it's different' the voice in her head piped up.

She scoffed to herself and shook her head.

No it wasn't. It wasn't different. Why would it be different?

'Because this time - you're jealous...'

"Shut up!" She scolded herself "I'm *not* jealous!"

She swallowed hard.

Breathed harder.

Oh. My. God.

She closed her eyes and let her head fall back to rest against the door, not able to move with the gravity of her realisation.

She was jealous...


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE:

The day of the annual loft party had arrived, and Schmidt had gathered them all together in the living area for last minute instructions. He had his hosting reputation to think of, after all. He ran through his itinerary and job list for the third time to many a rolled eye and huffing from the others, before he turned his attention to confirmation of the guest list.

"Nicholas, I'm assuming your lady friend will be in attendance?"

"Of course," he nodded "and she's bringing Candace along too, seeing as Winston asked so nicely. And by 'asked nicely' I mean 'pestered on a daily basis', so..."

"Hey man, it paid off didn't it?" laughed Winston

"We'll soon find out - you'd better up your game though, Winnie, those arty gals have pretty high standards" Nick teased

"Clearly not, seeing as Sarah lowered the bar for you" Winston shot back, before getting a playful slap around the face.

Schmidt raised his hands to end the exchange and pointed a finger at Winston

"Fine, but I swear to God if you even *try* to climb any tables tonight..."

"I'm good Schmidt, best behaviour! Scouts honour!" Winston promised, fingers crossed behind his back.

"Ok, so that's the guest list completed." declared Schmidt, clapping his hands and turning towards where Jess was sat on the end of the couch. Her folded arms and furrowed brow were indication enough to him that she had something on her mind. Extending an arm in her direction he tilted his head "unless Miss Jessica Day here has anything to add?"

She lowered her hands to her lap, and looked as though she was about to shake her head before suddenly pushing her glasses up on her nose and stating "Actually, Schmidt, I *do* have something to say. You left my plus one off the guest list."

"I did no such thing! What do you think I am, some kind of amateur? Cecelia is right here!" Schmidt protested, waving his clipboard in her face.

"I'm not talking about Cece." Jess corrected him "I'm talking about my _date_ " she placed as much emphasis on the last word as she could, noting with a flutter of pleasure the way Nick's head had shot up as she did.

"Date?" He asked, surprised.

"Yes, Nick, a date. It's not an unheard of occurrence for me, you know" she replied, narrowing her eyes and getting to her feet "and actually, he's due to call me imminently, so if you'll excuse me..." Jess scurried out of the living area and into her room, closing the door behind her.

She sat on her bed, scrunched her face up and flopped onto her pillow. She had sat there for the past hour, listening to the other guys grilling Nick for the low down on his blossoming new relationship with Sarah. Hearing him talking about how great she was, and how easy it was to be in her company had made her jaw tighten and her stomach knot. She had known for a while that her friendship with him went deeper than 'just friends', but she'd never had to confront this strange new sensation of jealousy that she was experiencing now. It had hidden in the shadows and crept up on her slowly over the past month, then slapped her square in the face and sent her reeling.

The worst thing about it was that Nick was so caught up in his exciting new happiness that he hadn't even noticed how her own light had dimmed recently. Normally he could read her like an open book. Another facet of their friendship she had valued so dearly.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

A date? A date?! Where was she going to find a date by this evening?

What had she been thinking?

If she was honest with herself, Jess knew full well what she was thinking - she wanted to give Nick a taste of his own medicine.

Suddenly, she sat bolt upright and grabbed her phone, scrolling through her contacts and punching out a text...

...

The party was in full swing. Music playing and drinks flowing freely. Schmidt was flitting from one group of party-goers to the next, being the impeccable host as always, but all the while keeping a close eye on Cece who Jess had diligently delivered to the party, as promised.

Winston was doing his best to talk up a storm with Candace in the corner of the kitchen and, to his credit, it appeared to be working. Nick was sat at the dining table next to Sarah, each with a beer in hand and appearing incredibly relaxed in each other's company.

Jess couldn't help but watch them from her seat on the couch. She tilted her head to the side as she noted how their movements mimicked each other and how Sarah even gargled her beer the same way Nick did.

Ugh.

"Oh my god." She said quietly to herself "It's like he's dating the female version of himself!" Jess continued, with a trace of disgust she failed to disguise.

Before Cece could process the tone of Jess's statement and respond, Schmidt appeared as if from nowhere and addressed them both "So, two things: Cece, you look ravishing tonight, as always, and um...Jess, your _date_ is here" he ended with an incredulous look on his face. tipping his head forward he quietly added "seriously?!"

Her cheeks flushed slightly as she shushed him and hurried off to the door, allowing him to take her place next to Cece.

...

Nick had been sat in conversation with Sarah for a while, looking up periodically to see Winston grinning like the cat that got the cream and making exaggerated vulgar gestures out of Candace's view. Nick shook his head and laughed.

Just then, Sarah's phone vibrated for the millionth time that night on the table between them. She reached over to shut it off, but not before Nick had seen half a dozen alerts on the screen, all from 'Tom'.

Insecurities from his previous relationship with Caroline had gotten the better of him and against his better judgement, he gave in to his curiosity.

"Wow. Someone really wants to speak with you this evening!" He exclaimed, trying to sound amused. "Have I got to tell this Tom to back off, or...?"

Sarah grimaced and looked at him apologetically.

"I'm sorry. He's...uh," she paused, unsure whether she should continue. This conversation never usually went positively "well, Tom is my ex"

Nick pursed his lips. He wasn't sure where this was going.

"Ok. But - he's your ex for a reason, right? I mean, I'm not barking up the wrong tree here am I?" He took a swig of beer to calm the feeling of unease that was starting to bubble inside of him.

"No! No, I swear" her eyes were wide with panic "It's not like that." she sighed heavily. "There's a reason I haven't mentioned him before, Nick. He hurt me, badly. To be honest everything was so messed up with he and I, that I've stopped talking about it because people always judge me and I don't want you to do the same" her words came out fast and babbled.

He took a deep breath and gave a small wave of his hand "No judgement here" he promised, waiting for her to continue.

"Tom and I were together for two years. Except, he was also with his wife at the same time. I was the 'other woman' I guess" she bowed her head as her cheeks grew red with the shame she still carried "I didn't know that when I met him. He told me he was single and I had no reason not to believe him. When I found out, I tried to end it, but he fed me lie after lie about how his marriage was practically over already, he was only staying for the children, he was going to leave her for me...there was always something. After 18 months of being his bit on the side, I grew the fuck up and finally got out." she looked up to see Nick sat silently, slightly shocked at everything he'd just had dumped in his lap. She waited for him to say something, to react somehow, but he just let out a long, slow, whistle.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything, I'm sorry."

She went to stand but Nick reached for her hand and gave a gentle squeeze. "No, no. It's fine. I'm glad you told me" he wasn't being entirely honest. Her admission had made him feel a little uneasy, but he decided to give her the benefit of doubt. People make mistakes, he knew that more than anyone.

"No judgement, remember" and he managed a half convincing smile. They sat quietly for a moment, a slight awkwardness descending before Candace had skipped over and pulled Sarah away for a dance.

Nick remained seated at the table, absentmindedly picking at the label of his bottle, staring at the floor in front of him and mulling over the conversation he'd just had when he saw two pairs of feet arrive. One he immediately recognised as belonging to Jess, the unbearable sparkle of her shoes being a dead give away. Which meant the other must belong to her date. So, who was this mystery guy that she had bought along? He'd be lying if he said he hadn't had his interest piqued by her earlier peculiar behaviour. He lifted his gaze whilst taking a swig from his bottle and upon reaching their faces, promptly spluttered into his beer, spilling it everywhere.

"Hey Nick!" Jess proclaimed brightly, waving with one hand, the other linked with her date.

"Nick! Hi...Hey, man!"

Nick took a moment to slowly wipe the back of his hand across his mouth to mop the beer from his chin, his eyes darting from hers to her date and back again.

"Jessica"

He nodded to the man standing in front of him, a strained smile plastered to his face.

"Paul..."


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX:

"Nicholas! You beer swilling heathen!" screeched Schmidt from the kitchen, dashing over with a dish cloth. 'Clean this mess up! What do you think this is, Friday night at your bar? Show some class, man, we have guests!" He hissed.

The cloth was shoved under his nose, and Nick half-heartedly dabbed at the spray of beer that had landed on the table when he had been so surprised by the face in front of him.

A blast from Jess's past.

He hadn't been entirely sure what he had expected to see when looking up from the pairs of shoes on the floor in front of him, but it certainly hadn't been Paul Genzlinger.

"Hey Paul, would you like something to drink?" Jess asked, removing her arm from his and gesturing to the makeshift bar they'd set up on the kitchen island.

"Sure! Sure...what do you have?" He replied, enthusiastically.

"I can tell you what we definitely _don't_ have, Paul" started Nick

"Wait, wait! Let me guess" Paul cut him off, clearly amused at where this was going "Pumpkin Ales!" he pointed at Nick with a genuine smile.

Nick held his hands up, feigning shock "Ah, you got me!" he said with a fake laugh, and took another swig of his beer.

"Paul, why don't you go take a seat in the kitchen, Winston will fix you up with whatever you fancy" Jess interjected, steering him away from the dining table and looking back over her shoulder with narrowed eyes towards Nick, mouthing "BE...NICE!"

He shrugged before mouthing back "That WAS nice!"

It wasn't that Nick didn't like Genzlinger, but something about the guy just really ground his gears. It set him on edge and made his hands bunch into fists for no known reason. Perhaps it was because Paul had such an incredibly optimistic view of the world that was completely at odds with his own curmudgeonly ways, or how he made up silly rhymes about the most innocuous things and sang them out loud. Even the way he did a little jig upon entering the room had a way of making Nick want to punch a wall. He remembered it well from the first time round that Jess and Paul were dating. Suddenly, Nick shook his head and laughed softly to himself, as he realised all the things that irritated him about Genzlinger were also things Jess did on a daily basis.

"Oh my god" he pondered to himself quietly "It's like she's dating the male version of herself!"

...

"So...Paul's back!" Nick stated with a questioning raise of his eyebrows as he joined Jess who was alone in the kitchen. She raised her glass before declaring "Yup. Mama's gonna get hers!"

They both cringed as soon as she said it.

"Too much?" Jess grimaced

"A little" he laughed, leaning on the counter as he stood next to her. Close enough that he was just brushing against her arm. She liked the sensation of the weight of him near her and felt her cheeks flush slightly. Downing her drink she turned to him and instructed "Fill 'er up, Miller!" whilst pointing to the open bottle next to him.

"Pink wine, Jess? Really?!"

"Really" she confirmed with a nod

"But I thought it made you twirly?"

A coquettish grin and sparkle in her eye belied the way she was really feeling in this moment. But he couldn't know that.

"Say no more. Lucky Paul." Nick chuckled as he looked at her, but there was a tinge of truth in his words that made her heart swell.

"Someone seems to be having fun" offered Jess, kicking herself immediately after she spoke the words, as they watched Sarah partake in an odd three-way dancing moment with Candace and Winston.

"Yeah" said Nick "It's been really great having her around. Its so different to my relationship with Caroline, you know?"

She took a big gulp of wine and nodded, wishing she could be anywhere else at this moment and desperately hoping he wasn't wanting to elaborate on the finer details of his relationship.

"Yeah...what's not to like. I mean, she's like a female Nick" Jess surprised herself by managing to not make it sound like an insult.

"That's weird. But, OK." Nick made his famous turtle face "And hey, if I'm dating the female me, then you're dating the male you" he laughed, pointing his beer in Paul's direction and pausing for a moment. They stood in silence for a few moments before he turned to face her "I'm happy for you, kid" Nick said, and reached out a hand to squeeze her shoulder. The bare skin of her arms tingled at the feel of his touch.

"You too..." Jess had to force the words out or else she feared they'd never come.

...

Cece flopped on the couch next to Jess and curled her legs up under herself, feet free of the killer heels they'd been imprisoned in earlier during the evening.

"Well, of all the faces I thought I'd see tonight, Genzlinger was not one of them!" she declared, facing Jess with probing eyes and silently demanding she spill everything without having to say another word.

"Yeah..." was all she got by way of a reply as Jess twiddled with the hem of her dress, her eyes on the ground.

"Babe. Look at me" urged Cece.

She knew Jess well enough to know that this was more than a sudden urge to reconnect with an old flame. She had also noticed the doe-eyed looks and copious glasses of drink that had passed her lips, which usually only meant one thing.

Jess was pining. And it certainly wasn't after Paul. That guy was an open book and clearly interested.

No. This was over someone different.

Cece narrowed her eyes and used a finger to tilt Jess's chin upwards.

"Ok, seriously now, What's going on?"

Jess scrunched her face up and sighed.

"I did a bad thing, Ceec. I did a bad thing..."

"What did you do? Are we talking 'help you move the body' bad?"

"I invited Paul to the party as my date, but now I think he thinks I want to get back together when the truth is...the truth is..." Jess paused to finish the wine in her glass.

"The truth is what, Jess?" Cece asked, exasperated.

Jess considered telling her best friend the real reason. But she decided against it.

Not now, not tonight.

She loved Cece dearly, but if she told her the truth then her friend would want to try to 'help', and meddling was not what Jess needed right now. She was barely coming to terms with what she was feeling herself and she didn't need 20 questions about what she planned to do next.

"Um, the truth is I was just looking for a one night thing" she shrugged and hoped her lie would be believed.

"You said it was bad!" laughed Cece "Jeez, Jess...you go get yours!" and she gave her a playful shove on the knee. She knew that Jess wasn't ready to open up about how she was really feeling. Her lying was terrible, but just this once, she would let it slide. Jess would come to her when she was ready. She always did.

Jess smiled begrudgingly and was eager to change the subject.

"So, what in the world is going on *here*?" asked Jess, waving her arm between her friend on the couch and Schmidt, who was currently picking up dropped beer cans and chips and harrumphing at the mess.

"I don't know what you mean" Cece lied, smirking

"Ha! Cecelia Parek, don't you lie to me - I saw you tonight. You were sitting talking to Schmidt _voluntarily_. You were laughing at his jokes, Cece" she shook her head incredulously "Schmidt's jokes! And I could tell you weren't even pretending!"

Jess pointed her finger accusingly towards her pal and squeaked "you _like_ him!"

"Ugh. Fine" spat Cece "well...I mean, I don't *not* like him" her face creased and she looked at Jess "I am filled with self-loathing right now..."

"Just how he likes 'em!" Laughed Jess, before noticing Paul approaching with a beaming smile.

Oh no.

What was she doing? Poor Genzlinger.

She had to fix this.

"Sorry Ceec. Can you excuse me? There's something I need to do." Jess stood as he reached them. Without giving him the chance to sit, she placed a hand on his arm and gestured to her room.

"Paul can we...can we talk?"

"Sure..." he replied, taken a little by surprise.

...

Paul walked in to her bedroom and Jess followed behind, bolstering herself for the conversation she was about to have, praying she could do this gently. As she turned to close the door behind them, she glanced up just in time to see Nick looking down the hall towards her and caught his gaze.

She knew what he thought was about to happen.

He gave a closed mouth, wonky smile and lifted the beer bottle in his right hand slightly. Almost toasting her.

Staring back at him, she held his gaze for just a second longer than necessary and resisted the overwhelming urge to shout 'It's not what you think!' at him, instead giving a small, tight lipped smile and ducking her head as she disappeared behind the door.

"Is everything ok, Jess?" asked Paul

His concern was so genuine, it made her want to cry. Tears of embarrassment stung the backs of her eyes and she blinked hard to force them away. Clearing her throat and addressing him, she replied softly

"No, Paul. It's really not..."

Jess sat them both on the end of her bed and took a deep breath before continuing "I've given you the wrong idea about tonight, and I really am so, so sorry to have done that to you. I didn't think about what I was doing when I texted you, it was a spur of the moment thing, and I didn't consider it at the time...I don't want you to end up getting hurt for my mistake. I cant do that to you."

He looked a perfect mix of confused and crestfallen.

She groaned and covered her face with her hands, knowing she needed to explain herself better, but for once finding it a struggle to get her words out coherently.

"I'm so sorry, Paul. I asked you here tonight as my date but, the truth is I've been giving you the wrong messages this evening. I'm not looking to get back together, and I feel so terrible that I may have led you to think otherwise..." her words were small and quiet, but the apology in them was sincere.

She really *did* feel bad. Jess wasn't the kind of girl to use guys for point scoring, she never had been and she hated that she had gotten so carried away with her emerging feelings towards Nick that she could allow herself to do that to someone else.

It was like jealousy's equivalent of the Red Mist. The Green Mist, if you will.

Paul's voice broke the silence that had fallen upon them "It's ok, Jess" he offered, trying to stay buoyant and plastering a smile on his face as he turned to her. "I'm glad you were honest me at least..."

She looked horrified.

"No! No, it's not ok I did that to you, Paul. Don't be so nice to me about this, I feel like a terrible damn person right now." her bottom lip started to wobble as she struggled to contain her emotions and the words just tumbled from her mouth "I just...needed him to see how it felt." she had barely finished the sentence before hot tears had spilled on to her cheeks.

"Needed who to know how what felt?" pressed Paul, his arm kindly hugging her shoulders in an effort to comfort her, ever the gentleman despite feeling a little uncomfortable in this unfolding situation.

Jess sniffed and looked at him, her brow furrowed, as she whispered sadly "Nick. I...I...wanted Nick to feel jealous seeing me with you. I hate myself for saying it, but it's true. Because..." she took a deep breath, swallowed the lump in her throat and finally admitted out loud what she had been holding on to for weeks "because that is how I feel every single time I see him with Sarah"


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN:

As Jess opened the door to the loft, she heard laughter coming from the living area. She knew that Schmidt wouldn't be home from work for another half hour, and that Winston had managed to convince Candace to go for a drink with him tonight...so that meant only one thing. Sarah was here. Again.

Exhaling heavily, she closed the door behind her with a bang, causing Nick and Sarah to look up at her from the screen. She waved feebly in their direction then made her way towards the kitchen. She needed wine.

"Hey, Jess - you wanna join us? Movie night?" asked Nick

"We have snacks!" offered Sarah, holding up a bowl of chips

Jess noticed as she got closer to the couch that Sarah currently lay with her head on Nick's lap and the sight made her stomach lurch. It had been a week since the loft party and not one evening had passed without Sarah being present. As mean as it may have sounded, Jess was becoming sick of the sight of her.

"Gee, thanks guys" she tried to sound convincing "but I'm super tired so I'm just gonna chill in my room. Nothing like a bit of solo crochet time to wind down!" she forced a laugh then cleared her throat and turned her focus back to finding the alcohol she desperately craved at this moment.

Grabbing a glass from the kitchen, Jess decided a whole bottle of wine was called for this evening and bundled it up under her arm, before marching back past the happy couple towards the hall and shutting her bedroom door far louder than she had intended.

Nick frowned. That was so unlike Jess, he thought. She loved movie nights. And snacks. She'd never normally turn them down. He chewed his bottom lip as he watched the rest of the film, before tapping Sarah on the shoulder "Hey, sorry, do you mind excusing me for just a minute. I'm just gonna go check on Jess. She hasn't left her room since she came home"

Sarah could see the concern on his face "Sure. Of course." she nodded, and gave his hand a squeeze as he placed a kiss on her forehead.

Tapping softly at her door, Nick pushed it open to see Jess sat looking rather forlorn on the end of her bed, finishing the large glass of wine in her hand, empty bottle on her night stand "You ok, Jess?"

She waved him away "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fiiiiiine." she lied, and got to her feet, slowly. "Don't let me keep you and female Nick from your evening of fun"

He frowned "Don't call her that, Jess" slight irritation lacing his words "I just came in to check you were ok, you're not normally one for turning down a movie. And you're drinking...alone...in your room. That used to be kind of a speciality of mine, so..."

"Ah yes, your speciality before life became rosy for you, Nick! Well, bravo!" the spite with which her words flew out surprised them both.

"What has gotten into you?" he asked, stunned

"Oh, I don't know, Nick, maybe I'm just fed up with not feeling at ease in my own home. Maybe I'm sick of you constantly having a visitor and taking over the living area when I want to sit in my damn pyjamas, drink pink wine and listen to Taylor Swift!" Jess's eyes were bugging slightly and she was well aware her tongue had been loosened far too much by the wine. Yet she couldn't stop them. If she wasn't careful she was going to say something she would really regret.

"Is this...about Sarah?" Nick asked, confused "do you not like her?"

Jess dropped her arms to her sides and sighed "It's not that...its just...I mean...she's here ALL the time, Nick. And, and...now I never get to spend any time with you. I just miss spending time with you, I guess" she trailed off.

"Aww, are you jealous, Jessica Day?" his words were intended to be in jest, but he could immediately see they were not taken that way by the flash of fire in her eyes.

"Jealous?!" She spat "oh my god, Nick. I just told you I miss us hanging out and you jump straight to jealous?!"

"Well what am I supposed to think? You're acting really crazy right about now!"

"How would you know, Nick, we've barely spoken the past week" her eyes were wide and shining and Nick genuinely had no idea how they ended up fighting when all he'd done was come to see if she was ok.

"Well, maybe you should get out and see Paul a bit more, Jess." her mouth dropped open slightly as he raised his voice back at her "Yeah, instead of sitting here whining about how much time I'm spending with my girlfriend - who is great, by the way - perhaps you should focus on your own damn life and the ex you've just randomly hooked back up with out of the blue, and stop criticising me about who I'm choosing to spend my time with!"

"Get out, Nick" she whispered, staring at him and seeing the anger she was feeling reflected back at her "Get out!" she yelled, when he failed to move.

He shook his head, turned, and left without another word.

It took a moment for Jess to realise what he had said. Nick thought she and Paul were back together. He hadn't asked her about the night of the party, and she hadn't volunteered the information either, so she could understand how he reached the wrong conclusion. This as one hell of a mess.

...

The next night, Nick was late home from the bar. The loft was still and he was so tired from a busy shift, he headed straight to his room. As he stepped into the hall, he noticed the door to Jess's room was ajar. Her lights were off, but there was a dim glow coming from within. He paused outside. He didn't like the way things had been left between them yesterday, and he knew that he probably should be the one to apologise. His hand hovered on the door handle and he flexed his fingers before taking a breath and slowly pushing the door open. He stopped in the doorway, a soft smile spreading across his lips as he saw Jess lying in bed, her face half hidden by one of the dozens of throw pillows she shared her room with. Her laptop was open in front of her, the light of the screen highlighting her silhouette in the darkness.

"Hey, Day..." he said quietly, so as not to make her jump "what ya watching?"

She turned to him, eyes wide and full of fear. Before she could speak, he heard screaming from the laptop, followed by the unmistakable sound of a chainsaw.

He cocked his head to the side, raised a brow, and took a step closer "A horror movie, Jess? On your own?! We both know you're not ready for that!"

"Help me..." she whispered, big blue eyes looking up at him over the rim of her glasses.

He laughed and perched on the edge of her bed. "You want me to turn it off for you?"

She shook her head vigorously, then without saying a word she simply pulled back the covers and shuffled over to create a space for him next to her. He considered the offer for a moment, then slowly hooked his legs onto the bed and settled in the spot where she had been lying just moments before. It was still warm with the heat of her body. He turned and looked at her, shaking his head in mock disapproval of her weak disposition. Reaching over with his right arm, he removed the pillow hiding her face and tucked it behind his head, before placing his left arm around her shoulder and gently bringing her in to rest her head on his chest. Just how they used to. He tried not to notice how perfectly she fit into the crook of his arm, or how the familiar weight of her body against his made him relax instantly.

Nick realised, then, that he and Jess hadn't had one of their movie nights since he and Sarah had starting dating. Evenings on the couch with a slasher movie marathon, Jess burying her face in his shirt every time there was a gruesome scene used to be one of his favourite things.

He swallowed as he accepted that Jess had been right when she accused him of becoming too wrapped up in his new relationship. He'd been unfair to her before, and he couldn't shake the memory of the look on her face when he asked if she was jealous. Truth be told, his friendship with Jess was really important to him and the notion that he may have been pushing her aside lately made him feel terrible.

"Jess...?" he started.

"Mmm?" she answered, the vibrations of the noise travelling across his chest.

"About yesterday, I'm really sorry. And you were right..." he trailed off, not sure what else he could really say to make it right.

"I know..." Jess mumbled "on both counts..." and he felt her smile against him.

They watched the rest of the film in contented silence. Jess feeling safe snuggled up to him and finding the slow rise and fall of his breathing incredibly soothing. When the end credits rolled, Nick waited for her to lift her head and move away but it didn't come. He craned his neck to see she had fallen asleep. Her face so still and peaceful, a small smile curling the edges of her lips. He placed his head back on the pillow, right arm resting under his neck, and left her that way for a while. Laying in the dark on her bed, the scent of her shampoo filled his nostrils and made his chest tighten almost imperceptibly. Feeling his own eyes start to get heavy, he realised that if he didn't get up soon, he was going to fall asleep himself. In her bed.

He gently scooted away from her, allowing her head to land on the pillow he'd been using. He closed the laptop screen, moving it off the bed and on to the side table then pulled the covers back up to her waist and tucked her in. Nick tip-toed back towards the door, crept out, and looking over his shoulder as he pulled the door behind him, whispered "Goodnight, kid..."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**

 **Hey, thanks for reading so far. I really appreciate the feedback I have been getting from people, especially as this is my first attempt at writing a fic! So, I just wanted to put a little note on here to acknowledge this is a bit more of a slow burner than I had anticipated the story being, but I promise you it will change soon! Stick with me!**

CHAPTER EIGHT

In the three weeks since their impromptu movie night in her bed, things had been easier between Nick and Jess. The tension had eased somewhat, and they both felt like things were starting to get back to how they were 'pre-girlfriend'. It was borne out of a combination of Sarah's workload increasing due to the upcoming launch for a new exhibition, and through Nick actually making a concerted effort to spend more quality time alone with his roommates - sometimes at the expense of seeing his girlfriend. It wasn't something she was entirely happy with, but given her own hectic work schedule, it was also something Sarah hadn't been able to find the time to bring up with him yet.

The night of Sarah's exhibition launch coincided with the annual event that Cece's modelling agency put on. It wasn't usually something that Jess would choose to attend, but Cece had asked her to come and, honestly, she could use a night out to blow off some steam. Spending it in the company of Nadia and the rest of Cece's model friends was a slight downside, but one that was outweighed by the lure of free drink and goodie bags. Having more time with Nick had been great, but it had done nothing to help quell her intensifying feelings towards him. Being in the loft alone with him was starting to feel a little like being in a pressure cooker, so an evening away would be a welcome relief. Jess had even splashed out on a new outfit for the occasion, going for something a little different to what she normally would wear. Sarah had been at the loft all afternoon for the first time in a week, so Jess and Cece had retreated to her room to drink wine and do their hair and make-up.

Nick stood from his spot on the couch as Sarah exited his room all dressed to leave for her big event. "You look nice" He said, circling his finger to get her to twirl around for him. She obliged whilst giggling, and spun twice to show off her new dress before he continued "I'm sorry I can't make it tonight, I just really can't get out of my shift at the bar. Since Big Bob hurt his back we've struggled to get cover, so it's all hands on deck." he pouted and she gave sad smile in return

"I know. It's ok. I mean, I would have loved you to be there, but...it's ok" she stood on tip toes and gave him a small peck on the lips before hurrying out the door to meet Danielle in the cab waiting for her outside. Just as the front door had closed, Jess and Cece emerged from her room and excitedly made their way into the living area. Nick turned around and felt his jaw drop open slightly as he saw Jess stood before him, wearing the very same dress that Sarah had just exited in. A pale blue number, finishing above the knee and being perfectly cut to show just a tantalising touch of cleavage.

"What do you think?" Asked Jess, slightly bashful as she did a little twirl for him and Winston, who had joined them from the kitchen and offered a whistle of appreciation.

Nick had wanted to tell her she looked _amazing_ , that she couldn't have picked a more perfect outfit if she had tried. But all that came out of his mouth was a loud 'HA!' of surprise.

He immediately saw Jess's face fall, insulted by his burst of laughter, and Nick was now very aware of the fiery look coming his way from Cece, her eyes burning deep into his skin.

"Wait! I didn't mean...I wasn't..." He stuttered, as Jess was swiftly ushered out of the loft by Cece, who continued to cast a withering glare in his direction "Jess... _JESS_!" he called after them, but it was too late. He bowed his head and sighed heavily, annoyed at himself for unintentionally hurting her feelings.

Turning around, he saw Winston stood looking at him with a quizzically raised brow "Man, what in the world was _that_?!"

Nick grunted and shuffled back towards the couch, accepting the beer held in Winston's outstretched hand before flopping down in his seat and shaking his head. "I don't know, Winston!" He muttered "I wasn't laughing at her. It wasn't meant to come out like that, I mean...I wasn't expecting her to look so..."

"Hot?" Winston offered "She looked hot...you can say it you know, just because you have a girlfriend doesn't mean you can't appreciate our roommate looking hot!" he laughed in reply to Nick's narrowed eyes and turtle faced pout.

"She's wearing the same dress as Sarah, is all. It caught me by surprise" he shrugged, hoping the conversation would move on, because he was suddenly feeling very unsettled by the unmistakable way his heart had quickened when his eyes landed on Jess in that dress. How his body had taken an involuntary intake of breath upon seeing her, and how he had needed to swallow hard to gather himself - right before he laughed in her face. There was no denying it, she looked sensational. Sarah had looked good in it, too, but...damn, it was like that dress had been hand made for Jessica Day by some little woodland creatures out of a Disney movie. A smile played across his face as he thought Jess would _love_ the notion of that.

Sensing some turmoil playing out inside his friends mind, Winston took a seat next to him and regarded him earnestly "Everything ok with you?"

"Uh, yeah." He lied and pointed back towards the door "Apart from feeling like a jerk from just a minute ago...Why'd you ask?"

"I know you, man. I can tell there's something going on up in that big, bulbous head of yours." Winston tapped a finger to Nick's forehead and it was promptly swatted away "I can practically hear the cogs turning as we speak"

A heavy sigh from Nick confirmed Winston's suspicions and he gave a concerned look, willing him to open up. When no words came, he decided to drag the problem out for himself "Is it work? I know the bar situation has been pretty full on lately?" a shake of Nick's head led him to cast his rod further afield.

"Is it Schmidt and his mystery midnight visitor? I mean, I can hear them doing the dirty from the other end of the hall, so I can only imagine how loud it is from _your_ room" Winston grimaced at the memory of last nights sound show. Something to do with Moby Dick, but he'd covered his head with his pillow before hearing the rest play out.

"Eurgh, you don't even wanna know...but, no..." replied Nick, taking a big gulp of beer.

"Is it Sarah?" He ventured, tentatively, in case he was barking up the wrong tree.

Nick looked up from the spot on the floor he'd been staring at to meet Winston's gaze.

It wasn't the wrong tree.

"I mean, I'd noticed she hadn't been around as much, but I thought that was just down to y'all being so busy with work. Is something going on, Nick?"

"No..." He attempted, pinching the bridge of his nose and putting his beer down on the table. He laced his hands together anxiously "I don't know...look, I don't really wanna talk about this right now. I've gotta get to the bar, and I just...I don't...I'm late for my shift" he bowed his head and stood up.

"So you guys are ok, then?" Winston furrowed his brow. He should be used to Nick's odd behaviour when it came to talking about his feelings by now, but that guy never failed to confuse him.

"We're fine" Nick said "we're...good" he repeated, as if trying to convince himself.

"So what's the problem?"

Nick grabbed his keys and started to head for the door, as if he hadn't heard his roommates question.

Winston repeated himself in exasperation, palms raised to the ceiling.

Reaching the door and opening it slowly, Nick paused and turned to his friend before quietly responding "I'm not sure if "good" is enough any more..."


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE:

As the cab pulled up the party, Jess was still smarting from Nick's reaction at the loft. The ride over here had been a quiet one, she hadn't been in the mood to join in with the frivolity of the models surrounding her. Cece had given her a few 'are you ok?' glances, to which she had duly nodded before returning to the memory playing over in her mind of just moments before. 'HA!' he had laughed...'HA!', with his stupid mouth hanging open. He had laughed at her. She wasn't expecting that, and it had stung. Well, screw him. Screw you, Nick Miller. She wasn't going to let him ruin her night. In fact, she planned on getting so drunk that she wouldn't give him a second thought. Jess put her shoulders back, held her head high and strutted in to the party behind Cece as best she knew how.

A few purple shots and slinky cocktails later and Jess was finding her groove on the dance floor with Cece. The beat of the music pulsing through her, the sounds crashing over her in waves and drowning out any thoughts of one scruffy chinned, turtle faced roommate that had occupied her mind so frequently in recent weeks. It was a glorious escape and one she was grateful for. Her eyes landed on a particularly handsome male model just on the edge of the dance floor. His shoulder length hair falling in dark curls to rival her own. Muscles threatening to burst their way free from his oh-so-tiny t-shirt. 'Oh, you'll do just nicely as a dancing partner!' thought Jess. A welcome distraction within her midst.

He noticed her gazing at him and, with a knowing smile, approached the pair. Cece gave a wink in Jess's direction before disappearing to the bar.

Mr Model quickly took her place and stood in front of Jess, the two of them dancing without saying a word. Enjoying the moment, she twirled around and he moved behind her, swaying her hips with his in time with the beat before then spinning her back to face him with his big arms "So...you like?" he asked in a thick accent she couldn't quite place, flexing his right bicep in her face.

"Uh, sure, what's not to like?" laughed Jess nervously

"You want touch it?" He offered

"Oh. Well, erm...ok..." she reached out and gave his muscley arm the slightest of squeezes, managing not to grimace at the greasy residue on his skin. "Someone didn't skimp on the baby oil tonight!" was the best Jess could come up with, wishing he would just shut up and carry on dancing with her. He grabbed her waist with his big arms and pulled her to him roughly, making little attempt now to dance in time to the music and merely trying to gyrate his bulging manhood against her thigh.

This was definitely not what she had in mind.

Her eyes searched desperately for Cece but to no avail and before she knew it, she was being walked backwards by Mr Model and into a corner. The buzzy feeling she'd been enjoying from her earlier shot drinking instantly wore off. Jess felt suddenly sober and a little panicked as she was bumped into the wall with no way to escape. His hands had moved from her waist to her butt and she was incredibly uncomfortable. Oh, hell no.

"Woah there, Mr Handsy!" Jess said, trying to push him off her and gain back some personal space. But he hadn't heard, or if he did, he wasn't listening as he continued to try and paw at her. "I said stop!" she insisted, fear creeping into her voice as she attempted to push him away a second time, his hand trying to slide up under her dress "No!" Jess shouted for a third time.

"She said no, asshole!" Thundered Cece, springing to her rescue from the darkness and shoving him off of her "I swear to God, if you don't back away right this second, I will rip your testicles off and feed them to you for breakfast!"

Jess closed her eyes in relief as Mr Model scurried away muttering "Crazy bitch lady!" under his breath.

"Cece! Thank god!" she whispered as she threw her arms around her friend.

"Sweetie, are you ok? Did he hurt you? If he hurt you i'll_"

"No, no, I'm fine..." Jess insisted, sounding unconvincing "but, maybe I should go. I'm not so sure this was a good idea after all" she bit her lip, wishing she could be anywhere else right now rather than this stupid party.

"Well, Schmidt has just text asking if we wanna meet him at the bar?" Cece offered.

Jess fleetingly thought about declining so she could just go home, put on her comfy PJ's and sleep off this whole awful experience, but another side of her couldn't wait to slip into the familiar comfort of the bar and get away from idiots like Mr Model. It would, however, mean having to see Nick so soon after the awkward exchange at the loft. Did she really want to step into all that right now?

"Sure" she found herself answering "Let's go..."

...

With the exhibition in full flow, Sarah took a moment to step away from the growing throngs of people in to the relative calm of the foyer and take a much needed break. She could not wait for this to be over, the work load in the run up to this night had been crazy. More than she had anticipated, and it had taken over nearly every spare moment she had. Her own artwork left half finished at the studio was evidence of that, and she had barely seen Nick in the past 10 days. It hadn't escaped Sarah's notice that this had seemed to bother her more than it had done him, so she had gone out of her way to spend the afternoon with him today. She'd had a vague hope in the back of her mind that perhaps he may have pulled through at the last moment and found a way to be here tonight, but had tried not to let her disappointment show when that hadn't been the case.

Sarah's thoughts were interrupted by movement in the corner of her eye. She turned her head and caught sight of a tall, blonde haired man entering the hall. She felt like the bottom of her world had just fallen from beneath her once she realised who it was. Like the oxygen had been sucked out of her body.

Tom.

What the hell was he doing here?

Sarah ducked behind a pillar and slammed her eyes closed, desperately trying to gulp air into her lungs before the feeling of panic overwhelmed her completely. She hadn't seen her ex Tom since she'd ended things once and for all after waiting in the wings for him for two years. She had given up all hope of him ever leaving his wife and the penny had finally dropped for her that things would never change. *He* would never change. And finally she had realised that she deserved more than that. Taking some deep breaths, Sarah regained her composure and headed back into the exhibition.

He must have clocked her as soon as she walked back through the door, because she had the feeling she was being watched for quite some time before he sidled up to her in the corner of the hall. Her body stiffened at his close proximity to her.

"Hey" he said, grinning at her "You...look...wow!"

"What are you doing here?" She replied

"Oh, hi Tom, good to see you too. Thanks for coming tonight..." his words dripping with sarcasm, he held her by the elbow and tried to pull her closer in to him "why do you think I'm here? I came to see you, obviously."

"It's been eight months, Tom." she shrugged off his grip "Eight months. I haven't answered your calls or your texts, so...why are you here?" Sarah knew this wasn't just a social visit. There must be a reason why he had tracked her down after all this time. He looked at her and cocked his head, displaying the dimples on his cheeks that had once previously been her undoing.

"Josie left me" he admitted, raising his palms.

There it was.

She stared at him, narrowing her eyes "And...?"

He raised an eyebrow at this feisty side of her he had so rarely seen before.

"And...I was hoping maybe you and I could talk" Tom reached over to try and tuck an errant strand of her dark blonde curls behind her ear, but she moved away, causing him to chuckle to himself.

"I get it" he said "I get that you don't trust me. I made you miserable before, Sarah, and I'm truly sorry for that. I regret how I acted, but things were so hard for me at the time and I was just trying to do what I thought was best."

It was nothing she hadn't heard a million times before in the voicemails or texts that had gone ignored. She remained rooted to the spot as he stepped closer, and gripped her elbow a second time "Please, Sarah. We were so good together, weren't we?" his thumbs stroked the bare skin on the backs of her arms.

Tom felt her take a deep breath and he took another step closer still, barely any space remaining between them. He was close enough for her to smell his aftershave. The one that always used to make her want to nuzzle in his neck. She swallowed and tried to move back, but quickly realised she had nowhere to go as he had backed her into the corner.

"You should go" Sarah instructed

"Come on" he pleaded "give me another chance to prove to you how different things can be now."

"You don't get to do this, Tom. You don't get to turn up here where I'm working, feed me some shitty lines and expect me to just drop everything to give in to you"

He tilted his head close to her ear and whispered "But we both know you want to"

"Tom, no" her voice faltered as his lips grazed the skin on her cheek. Her head was all over the place, a chaotic mess of thoughts thrown up in her brain in the moment that his face grew ever closer to her, landing his lips on hers.

Out of the madness, one thing suddenly shot to the forefront of her mind: Nick.

"NO!" she shouted, shoving him away with force and rushing past him, out of the foyer and in to the first cab she could see.

...


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:**

 **Thanks for reading so far! I really appreciate the feedback from people, so keep it coming :) Chapter Nine was a hard slog for me and didn't come easily, so it was nice to write this one as it felt a lot easier. Massive thanks to Laura (mcloz98) for being my sounding board and putting up with my messages!**

CHAPTER TEN:

Nick looked up from serving his customer to see Jess and Cece hurry through the door and head towards Schmidt, already waiting for them at his favourite booth. Apparently it had the best lighting for his skin tone, or some such nonsense. The girls bypassed Nick completely, which he guessed he could understand. They were probably still pissed at him for his reaction at the loft earlier. He decided he would try to make amends once he'd completed the order he was getting, he was due a break soon anyway.

Jess sat opposite Cece and Schmidt, and downed the drink he diligently had waiting for them as instructed by Cece in the cab over here. She felt the alcohol buzz through her limbs and took a deep breath. The adrenaline from earlier was wearing off and right now she was feeling quite shaky about what could have happened had Cece not come to her rescue. Jess quickly excused herself to go and freshen up in the restroom, in the hopes that she could gather herself enough to try and enjoy the rest of the night. As she crossed the front of the bar, Nick made a dash for the hatch and stopped in front of her, arms extended in a bid to halt her progress.

"Wait, please! Jess, about earlier, back at the loft...I can explain, I was an idiot...I promise I wasn't_"

He stopped when he noticed the pained expression on her face, her eyes shining with tears she was trying desperately to blink back. He reached out and laid a hand on her arm, the gentle touch of his warm skin making her look at him.

"Are you ok, Jessica?"

The concern in his voice and kindness in his big, brown eyes suddenly made it impossible for her to hold in the emotion she was trying to control and her tears spilled over as she shook her head. She rushed past him towards the bathroom, Cece following in her wake having seen the exchange. She glared at Nick and he raised his hands in surrender, stepping backwards out of her way.

Thinking that he was the cause of Jess's tears, he felt a heavy feeling settle in his stomach. He hated the thought that a flippant reaction from him could have affected her so much. Feeling angry with himself, he returned behind the bar, looking up in time to see Sarah rush through the door and make a beeline for him. This was unexpected, the exhibition didn't finish for at least another hour. Seeing the upset in her features, he realised something was wrong. His brow furrowed as she reached him "Hey, I wasn't expecting to see you for a while yet...everything ok?" he asked, knowing that it wasn't.

Sarah swallowed hard and tried to stop her lip from wobbling "Can I talk to you for a minute? I need to tell you something..."

...

After escaping to the bathroom and managing to calm herself down, Jess started to make her way back to their booth. As they walked out into the bar, she saw a flash of pale blue material in the corner of her eye. As if in slow motion, she turned her head and saw Sarah.

They were wearing the same dress.

The penny suddenly dropped as Jess thought back to the look on Nick's face at the loft.

"Ohhhh..." she breathed in realisation, giving a wry chuckle to herself

"What?" asked Cece, confused

Jess nodded her head in the direction of the bar "Ah!" laughed Cece "Well, that certainly explains a lot!" and gave her friends shoulder a little squeeze as they returned to their seats.

"Well there you are!" exclaimed an exasperated Schmidt with a roll of his eyes "I was about to send a search party, I thought perhaps you'd been sucked into the turlet..."

"Toilet..." corrected Jess

"That's what I said. Turlet" he frowned back

" _Anyway_ " interrupted Cece "we're back now, so you can relax and tell us what _that_ is all about" pointing discretely towards Nick and Sarah at the bar.

"I have zero clue" he admitted "but by the way she rushed in here and the frown on Nick's face, I'd hazard a guess that it's not all hearts and rainbows"

Jess looked over and saw Nick leaning forward on to the bar with his arms, his jaw tightening as his conversation with Sarah continued. It looked pretty serious. She narrowed her eyes to try and figure out the gist of the subject but it was no use. Cece followed her gaze then glanced back at her friend, a sympathetic smile on her face.

Of course.

It all made sense. Her reaction to Nick's laugh was far more intense than Cece had expected - Nick said and did stupid things all the time and she'd never seen it bother Jess like this before.

"Schmidt, can you give us a second?" Cece asked

"What? Why? Are you kidding me? If I'd wanted to spend my evening alone I'd have done it at the loft. At least there I could relax in my 'mono and let my boys hang out...if you catch my drift"

"Schmidt. Five minutes" she insisted, placing a hand over his as he begrudgingly stood up "I'll make it up to you" she whispered

"Oh, yeah..." he cleared his throat and tried to hide his excitement at the prospect "no, yeah, that's cool Cecelia, you know. Whatever you need..."

Once he was out of earshot, Cece turned to Jess and placed a hand on her knee, breaking her stare towards the bar. She tilted her head and raised her brow.

"It's Nick, isn't it?" she asked softly.

Jess bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes for a second before giving a shaky sigh and nodding her head slowly.

"I don't know what to do, Ceec. I had no idea I had these kind of feelings for him until I HAD these kind of feelings for him, you know?"

Cece looked towards Schmidt now hanging around by the jukebox and replied "Yeah babe, I know..."

"This is such a mess. I'm not used to feeling like this. I see him with her and I just get, like, crazy 'I-wanna-pee-on-my-territory" jealously. Except, he's not my territory. He's just my friend."

"I think we all know you and Nick aren't just friends, Jess" Cece said softly "Question is, what do you wanna do about it?"

"Ugh. I don't know" Jess whined, burying her face in her hands "I don't want to rock the boat, Cece. He's my roommate. He's seeing somebody, for goodness sake, it's not even like he's single!"

"Hmm, well, maybe that might not be the case for much longer" Cece lowered her voice and nodded her head in the direction of the door, where Jess looked up to see Sarah leaving.

...

Jess was sat in the booth alone, Cece had left with Schmidt a while ago. They'd insisted she leave with them, but she assured them she was fine and would make her own way back. In truth, she'd wanted to try and speak to Nick. But she hadn't yet found quite the moment. As she was twiddling with the strap of her purse, she sensed footsteps approaching. A glass of pink wine was placed in front of her, as Nick took a seat on the opposite side of the table.

"Peace offering" he said, sliding it towards her.

Jess gave a small laugh and took a sip in acceptance before replying "Thank you. But, not necessary. I saw Sarah in here earlier. The dress...it's the same. I get it now. I thought...well, I thought you were laughing at me, so..." she trailed off and met his gaze. His brow furrowed.

"God, no. I wasn't laughing at you, Jess. I swear. It just surprised me seeing you in the same outfit and I...I didn't think. I'm sorry"

She nodded her head "I know. You don't have to apologise. It was just a misunderstanding" she waved her hand in the air as if to swat away the memory.

"I feel really bad." he continued "Honestly, Jess, I didn't mean to make you cry and I shouldn't have laughed. You look great in that dress. Honestly, you do - really great. I mean it." he was rambling slightly but stopped when he saw the confused expression on her face "What's wrong?" he asked

"I didn't cry, Nick."

"But earlier, when you got here..." he pointed towards the restrooms "...I came to apologise and you rushed past me in tears. I thought_"

Jess laughed and placed a hand over his, squeezing slightly "No, Nick, that wasn't because of you. That was... _other_ stuff. You didn't make me cry."

"What other stuff?" He asked, concerned

"Oh, nothing. It's not important" she tried to reply as flippantly as she could but his eyes locked on hers with a questioning gaze.

"Jessica? What other stuff?" he pressed

"It was just something that happened at Cece's party. Some guy. He got a bit handsy with me, but, you know, it's fine. Cece rescued me and he ran away with his tail between his legs so..." she looked back to Nick and tried to smile. His mouth was open and his face was angry.

"That son of a bitch" he growled

"Nick, it's fine. I'm fine"

"Why didn't you tell me, Jess?"

She sighed and weighed up whether to confess that, really, she wanted nothing more than to run to him and tell him. To see him get protective of her and want to check she was ok. To be pulled in to his arms and hugged all better. She took another sip of wine before replying "You kinda had your own stuff going on."

Nick swallowed hard and dipped his head "Hmm. You saw that, huh?"

"Yeah. Do you want to talk about it? I've been told I'm a good listener on more than one occasion!"

"No" he said, quietly "No. Not with you" he shook his head, then realised how that could have sounded as he saw hurt flash in her eyes "Not like _that._ I didn't mean it like that, Jess. It's just...I don't wanna talk about it. Especially not with you, because I feel like we've only just gotten back on track after the other week and I'd like to keep it that way. Ok?"

"Ok" she whispered back, not quite sure what he was implying but not brave enough to push him on it.

"So am I forgiven, then?" Nick returned to the original topic of conversation

"You're forgiven" she replied, finishing her wine

"Friends?" he offered

"Friends..." Jess whispered, looking down at the table to where her hand had never left his.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

"Please, Nick? I need you..."

He had just stepped outside the bar on his break when his phone started ringing. Looking down and seeing her name on the screen, he felt a smile play across his lips. He'd answered and heard her worried voice on the other end, asking for his help. Nick tried to explain that he was at work, it wasn't that easy to just leave mid shift. But then she pleaded with him, her voice so small and helpless. He let out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut. He couldn't just leave her there by herself. She needed him, and that was enough.

"Ok, Jess. I'm on my way..."

...

He pulled up to see her standing rather forlornly next to her car, steam pouring from the engine. Jess saw him approaching and her heart shuddered in her chest, he was wearing the pale blue checked shirt that she secretly loved on him.

"Hey, Miller"

"Hey, Day" he smiled back, before gesturing at her car "so...what did ya do?!"

"I didn't do anything!" she protested "I was just driving along, minding my own business and thinking how pretty the clouds looked in the sky today, when all of a sudden I heard a 'CLUNK, CLUNK, THUD' followed by a kind of whooshing noise...like...'Psssshhhhh!' and then steam came out everywhere and I couldn't see where I was going and I swear to god I nearly hit a bird. I nearly hit a bird, Nick!"

He was trying and failing to suppress a laugh at her description of the encounter. So typically _Jess._ She narrowed her eyes at him and he held his hands up.

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry. Let's have a look" Nick popped the hood and stood in front of the engine with his hands on his hips. After a moment, he turned to face her "yeah...yeah, it's definitely broken."

Jess rolled her eyes "Thanks, genius! I've called a recovery vehicle to come pick me up, would you wait with me until they get here? I don't really fancy sitting at the roadside by myself" she looked up at him with a hopeful, lopsided smile.

Nick glanced at his watch before nodding his head "Sure. I guess I can do that." Following her around the car, they both leaned up against the trunk. He sunk his hands into his pockets and gave her a sideways glance "Hey, can I ask you something, Jess? How come you didn't call Paul to come and help you? I mean, this kinda seems like the sort of thing you should be going to your boyfriend for..."

She cringed visibly when he used the word 'boyfriend' to describe Paul, and felt her cheeks start to flush. She was fast running out of excuses as to why Paul hadn't been to the loft since the party and there was only so many times she could say he didn't join them at the bar because he 'had work to do'. Jess was pretty sure Nick was starting to become suspicious about his absence but couldn't bring herself to admit the truth to him.

"He's not my boyfriend, Nick" she said quickly "it's not like that. We're...I mean...it's just...complicated" she screwed her face up and scooted back so she was sitting on the trunk of her car.

Nick pursed his lips and rolled his shirt sleeves up to his elbows. Jess swallowed hard as he sat himself next to her, his tanned arms resting on his legs so agonisingly close to hers.

"Hmm. Ok. Complicated. Well, I get that..." He sighed heavily. Jess didn't fail to notice that Sarah hadn't been back to the loft since the other night. Every time she had called, Nick would retreat to his room to speak with her in private.

"I thought you didn't wanna talk about that...'especially with me'" she teased, trying to lighten the mood. He nudged her with his shoulder in response.

"Jess, I was still trying to get my head around what she had told me. I just didn't wanna get into it again so soon. That was all."

"So...what _did_ Sarah tell you?"

"You remember that ex of hers she told me about the night of the loft party? The guy who keeps trying to contact her? Well, short version is he showed up at the exhibition that night." Nick paused and took a deep breath before quickly finishing the rest of his sentence "He told her he wanted to get back together and then he kissed her..."

Jess looked at him and raised her eyebrows in disbelief. She had no idea what to say. So she said nothing, instead deciding to give his hand a sympathetic squeeze.

"She says she didn't kiss him back. But, now she's gone to visit her sister to get away for a few days because she wanted some head space and I just, I don't know what to think, Jess." He rubbed his hand over his face and groaned.

"Do you believe her?" She asked quietly

"I want to. It's just...it always bothered me, you know? Her relationship with him. I know it shouldn't have, but it did. I've tried to forget about it but...it put doubts in my mind. I *want* to believe there was nothing in it. I mean, she came straight to the bar to tell me, right? Why else would she do that? That has to count for something, doesn't it? I'd be wrong to break it off over this, wouldn't I?" Nick looked at Jess, his eyes pleading, desperate for some response. She always knew the right thing to say to him when he needed advice.

She exhaled loudly and stared at the ground in front of her. Opening her mouth to talk, she pursed her lips, as if thinking better of it.

"Spit it out, Jessica. You clearly have something to say"

She turned back to face him, blue eyes looking straight into his "I don't think it's me you're trying to convince, Nick"

They stared at each in silence, only breaking their gaze when the tow-truck pulled up alongside them. Hopping off the car, they stood awkwardly next to each other as the mechanic attached the ropes to her vehicle.

"Ok, all set, sweetheart!" the driver had called to her "How 'bout you ride up front with me, princess, and we take you home? I could use a pretty face like yours to brighten up my evening" his leering eyes boring into her made her feel decidedly uncomfortable.

"I...um..." Jess stuttered.

Nick stepped forward, placing an arm in front of her. "Ok, pal, why don't you back off" he scowled "she has a ride. _I'm_ taking her home"

Jess almost burst with gratitude at his act of protection, a smile spanning ear to ear breaking out on her face "Thank you" she whispered, as they retreated to his car.

...

He drove them back to loft, their conversation carefully steering clear of everything they had talked about outside. Just as Nick was about to head back to finish his shift at the bar, Jess suddenly looked panicked. Looking around inside his car frantically, her face crumbled.

"What is it, Jess? What's wrong?"

"My purse! My favourite purse! I could have sworn I had it..."

"Did you leave it in your car? Just call the recovery company. I'm sure they'll find it"

"I don't know. Maybe it was...I know I had it at the bar yesterday...I thought I had it with me but now I'm doubting myself. Damn it, Nick, it's my favourite damn purse. This is just the worst day!" She whined and tears pricked her eyes as she slammed the car door behind her.

"We'll find it, Jess. Don't worry!" He called after her, but she was already too far away to hear.

...

Her phone beeped the next afternoon and she lazily reached over from her spot on the couch where she was sulking and watching Dirty Dancing for the third time that day.

'Hey, come meet me ASAP. Need to see you!'

It was Nick.

She smiled and leapt up to pull some decent clothes on, then set off to see him at the bar.

...

"Guess what I found!" Nick declared as she walked through the door, beaming at her from ear to ear whilst reaching over to hold up her missing purse.

Her eyes lit up and she squealed with delight. Before he knew it, she'd run right at him and flung her arms around his neck with so much force that he had to place a hand on her waist to steady them both.

"Nick! You found it!" she squeezed him tight and held on. Tighter than a friend should. Longer than a friend would.

"I can't believe you found it!" she repeated "I'm so happy right now I could just _kiss_ you!"

 _Shit_

The words came out before she could stop them, and her eyes widened over his shoulder the moment they left her mouth. She froze for a second, as did he.

Jess took a small step backwards, hands moving from his neck to the tops of his arms. She looked down at the ground, willing it to open up and swallow her whole.

"I...I didn't mean...sorry, that's not...um..." she bit her lip and cursed as words failed her. Jess tried to take another step back from him, but his grip on her waist was unwavering.

When his response to her came a second later, it was so quiet that at first she thought she'd imagined it. A barely spoken, breathy whisper on her skin.

"So, do..."

She gazed up to see him looking right down at her, his eyes dark...searching.

Time stood still.

All she could hear was the sound of blood rushing in her ears.

Everything around them blurred into the background.

And then they kissed.

They kissed.

Mouths barely touching at first. The slightest, softest graze of skin on skin. The tiniest of touches. The nerve endings in their lips sparking with electricity.

It was nothing and everything all at once.

Her stomach flipped and her fingers gripped his arms, feeling suddenly lightheaded as their lips met fully.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N**

 **THANKS FOR READING THIS FAR! I really appreciate the feedback so big love to you all. Just wanted to give a shout out to my awesome Roomfriends Grace, Jen and Ang who helped me when I needed some inspiration for the Nick/Jess interaction in this chapter. Happy Reading xx**

CHAPTER TWELVE:

Jess hammered on Cece's door, desperate for her to open. Her mind was running at a hundred miles an hour. What in the world had just happened?! She and Nick had kissed. Her heart was beating out of her chest as she replayed the moment in her mind. His eyes were so dark, it was like he could see right into her, glimpsing all of the things she had wanted to say and do to him these past couple of months. His lips were warm and soft and the taste of his mouth on hers was heavenly. It felt like time had frozen and they were just stood in that precious moment for hours.

In reality, it had been anything but. Their kiss was over almost as soon as it had begun. The back door to the bar had swung open with a delivery, causing Nick to jerk backwards with a guilty expression on his face. Jess stood breathless for a second, her fingers tracing the place where his lips had left their mark just seconds before. Her eyes met his briefly and they mirrored each other's shocked gaze, but before he turned around to walk away, she was sure she had seen something else within them. She didn't wait to find out what, grabbing her purse off the bar and running out as fast as she could. If she had peered back, she would have seen Nick looking over his shoulder towards her. Confusion etched on his face. You idiot, Miller, what the hell did you just do?!

Finally Cece opened the door to her apartment, surprised at the unexpected arrival of her best friend, who was standing there looking flushed and decidedly shaken up.

"Nick kissed me!" Jess proclaimed

"Whaaaaaat?!"

Cece grabbed Jess by the arm and bundled her inside, sitting her on the couch while she grabbed wine. This situation needed wine. Returning with two glasses, she duly waited for Jess to take a few gulps before sitting next to her and demanding "Details. Now!"

"I don't, I don't even remember how it happened. One minute I was hugging him, the next our lips were doing a meet and greet" Jess said shakily.

"Wait, back up, why were you hugging Nick in the first place? Set the scene, girl, help me out here!"

"Oh, yeah...um...ok, well he came to help me when my car broke down earlier, then rescued me from the creepy recovery driver, and then I thought I'd lost my favourite purse - it really was a bad day Ceec - but then he text me, I went to the bar...Nick had my purse, I mean he _found_ my purse, and I blurted out about being so happy I could kiss him - but it was just a figure of speech - and then...and then..." her words stopped as she ran out of breath, unable to finish the rest of her rambled explanation. Her eyes widened at Cece and she downed the rest of her wine before burying her face in her hands.

"Well. That's a lot of information to absorb in one go, but, ok." Cece laughed and filled Jess's glass once more, reading her friend's mind as only she could do so well.

"So, what did he say? Y'know, afterwards..."

"Nothing" said Jess in a small voice.

"What do you mean nothing?!"

"I kinda ran away from him..." She closed one eye and grimaced.

"Oh, boy"

"I know..." Jess let out a loud sigh "I panicked. I wasn't expecting it to happen, I mean I had no idea he felt that way, Cece."

"Well, it did happen and he clearly does feel that way about you, Jess, or else he wouldn't have kissed you. So...what are you going to do about it now?"

"I _can't_ do anything about it - he's with Sarah!"

"Girl, please, that relationship has been doomed since her ex rolled onto the scene"

Jess looked quizzically at her friend, wondering how she'd been privy to that information.

"Schmidt told me" Cece answered softly, placing a hand on her knee.

"Look, Jess, this might not be a popular opinion but I'm gonna say it anyway - sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns and go after the things that you want. Even if that means other people getting hurt_"

Jess frowned "What? No! I can't do that..."

"Let me finish, because Lord knows you need to hear this, Jessica. There are times when you are too nice. There, I said it. You're forever putting the feelings of other people before your own and trying to keep everyone else happy, despite the fact that it often ends up making you miserable in the process. It's part of what makes you *you*, and I LOVE you for it, but sometimes - _sometimes_ \- you have to put yourself first. You have to think about what Jess wants once in a while, babe"

Jess gave her friend a watery eyed smile and sank back into the cushions of the couch, letting Cece's words wash over her and seep in her brain.

Ok.

 _Think about what Jess wants_.

She could do that...

...

Nick wasn't there when Jess returned to the loft later that evening, which she was grateful for. There were far too many thoughts buzzing around in her head for her to be able to look at, speak to or just _be near him_. She wasn't sure what was going on between them right now, and in all likelihood, he probably didn't either, so tonight she just needed to close her bedroom door, throw on her comfy PJ's and slide into a deep, wine fuelled slumber for some welcome escape from the cacophony of unanswered questions bubbling to the forefront of her mind.

...

The next morning, a Sunday, Jess had woken early. Trying to keep busy, she had baked cupcakes to take into work with her the following day and then sorted her yarn into colour spools. Then she rearranged every cushion and throw pillow she could find within the loft into size order. When she finally heard sounds from across the hall of Nick stirring, she made a silent dash for the door and disappeared to run some errands she had suddenly decided just couldn't wait another moment.

When Jess returned a few hours later, she was met with silence. Edging in to the living area, she tentatively called out "Schmiiiidt? Winstoooon?"

Nothing.

Her eyes fell to the plate of cupcakes that had been cooling on the table. There was one missing. She should have known better than to leave unattended cakes within the vicinity of three males, but she expected better of them. She'd even left a little note next to the plate: 'These aren't for eating by you, guys. Hands up, back away, and no one needs to get hurt. That means you, Nick'

She let out an exasperated grunt of annoyance, then turned as she sensed someone behind her. He stopped in his tracks when he laid eyes on her, not sure whether to greet her with a smile or an apology. So he just stared instead.

She narrowed her eyes and then gasped as she saw what was in his hand, pointing an accusatory finger right at him "Nick, you giant pig! You took my cupcake!"

"I thought they were loft cupcakes...I didn't know..." He shrugged, trying to act nonchalant.

"I wrote a note! It's right there. Damn it, Nick. Why do you just have to take things that aren't yours?!"

Her blue eyes were suddenly burning in to him. She seemed angry. Too angry for this to just be about baked goods. Nick blinked back at her a few times and shifted uncomfortably before taking a breath and replying, evenly as he could "You're right, your cupcake belonged to someone else and I shouldn't have taken it. I'm sorry. Even though you put it out there knowing it would be taken..." he placed his hands on his hips, voice becoming strangely high pitched.

"I did no such thing" she scowled back at him

"You did! You put it right out there! It was almost like you wanted me to take it, Jess!"

Her heart was beating so hard she could almost hear it. Did he mean for it to come out that way? The wild eyed look he was giving her would suggest he did.

She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She could feel her cheeks burning with rage.

'Don't be a smart-ass, Nick. You wanna talk about yesterday, let's talk about yesterday. You know, when you _kissed_ me?"

His face fell.

"What's the matter, Miller, suddenly you don't have anything to say? You coward!" Her voice louder now.

"Fine! I'm sorry I kissed you, Jess - is that what you want to hear? It won't happen again, it's already forgotten, so you can run off and take your damn cupcakes to Paul and maybe you can figure out whatever the hell is happening with you two!"

"THERE IS NO ME AND PAUL!" Jess shouted at him, shocking them both into silence.

She watched the confusion play across Nick's features. He stepped closer to her, dipping his head 'What?"

Jess swallowed before admitting in a shaky voice "There is no me and Paul. There never was" sighing, she continued "I never said he and I were back together, Nick. You just assumed"

"But the party...? You...he..." Nick's face was a giant frown "You're not making any sense, Jessica"

"What more do you need me to say? Paul wanted to explore it but I didn't..."

"Why?" Nick questioned, catching her off guard. She looked at him, his eyes as dark as last night and her breathing quickened just enough for him to notice.

"Because, Nick, we wanted different things. He wanted to get back into the relationship where we left off but I didn't want...I didn't want..." She paused and closed her eyes. Jess knew where this was going and she wasn't entirely sure she was prepared.

"What didn't you want? Paul's a nice guy, what could you _possibly_ have not wanted" Nick was goading her. They both knew it.

"HIM!" She yelled " I didn't want _him_ , ok?!" Her breath ragged and angry, she stared right at Nick, eyes wide.

"I want..." She stopped. If she did this now, there was no going back.

"What, Jess?" He urged, practically begging her with his eyes, standing so close they were almost touching.

"I want..." Her hand travelled painfully slowly to his arm, electricity sparking from her fingers to his skin as she did.

" _You_..."

They whispered the word in unison, before their lips crashed together.

Hot, hungry, messy kisses as they finally gave in and lost control. His hands in her hair, hers clawing at his back, practically kissing the oxygen from one another's mouths until it became too much and they had to break away for air. He buried his face in her neck, the sweet taste of her skin giving him goosebumps. He walked her backwards so they were leaning on the couch and she felt the glorious tightness in his jeans press against her in just the right place to send a shiver through her body, her breath catching in her throat as it did, a soft moan coming from Nick's lips into her ear. His mind was racing as her arms wrapped themselves tightly around his body, holding on to him for dear life.

This was crazy.

 _Amazing_ , but crazy. Where had this come from?

' _Nick, what are you doing?!_ ' he thought silently, wondering if this was as good an idea as it felt.

He was suddenly distracted by the grip of Jess's fingers on his waistband, pulling him even closer and pushing her hips forward to meet his. It felt phenomenal. He tentatively placed a hand under the hem of her shirt, fingers running up her side until...' _holy shit_ '...they found the bare skin of her breast.

' _She isn't wearing a bra...!_ ' he screamed inwardly to himself.

Swallowing hard to gain control of his body, he moved his thumb over her wonderfully soft skin. She gasped a little as he grazed her nipple, and she found his mouth once more, kissing him with everything she had in case she never got the chance again.

"Nick! What are you doing?!"

 _Oh shit_.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

His blood ran cold at the sound of Sarah's voice coming from the doorway behind him...


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:

Nick leapt away from Jess the moment he heard the words, and turned to see Sarah stood at the door next to a very confused looking Schmidt - who had let them both in after bumping in to her by pure coincidence at the elevator in the lobby. His heart was thumping in his chest and he could hear the sound of his blood whooshing in his ears.

 _This could not be happening_.

His eyes caught hers and he opened his mouth to talk, but nothing came. He stood, rooted to the spot, as Sarah shook her head in disgust, backed away from the door, then did an about face and ran towards the stairs. Nick turned back to look at Jess, standing looking so beautifully ravished next to him. Her hair a mess where his hands had been running through it, mouth open in shock, her pink lips still glistening with the taste of him. Her eyes were searching his, looking for some reassurance that he just couldn't give. Neither of them having any clue on how to handle this.

His gaze dropped to the floor as he muttered 'I'm sorry..." and rushed out of the loft and after Sarah, barging past an astounded Schmidt who in turn did a double take between Jess and his fleeing friend.

"What. The. Hell?" Schmidt regarded Jess before him, all dishevelled and flushed in the face. "Have I just walked into some kind of alternate universe here where the inhabitants of apartment 4D are now sucking each other's faces off? Did I trigger some tear in the space/time continuum which rendered one Nicholas freakin' Miller suddenly attractive to the entire female race?!"

She narrowed her eyes at him in warning, urging him to shut up.

"No, really Jess, I'm asking a serious question here." He placed one hand on his hip and waggled the other back and forth to where his feet stood in the doorway "Because I'm about about to cross the threshold into the loft and I need to know if that means I'm the next target in your twirly crosshairs? I mean - I won't lie - I've thought about your face on more than one occasion when self completing, but you know, I could never do that to Cece. Well, I mean, unless she was up for joining in of course_"

"SCHMIDT! Not another word!" Jess yelled, voice trembling.

"Just to make it very clear, I shall be locking my door tonight, Jessica Day..."

"Oh my god! _Shut up_!" She called behind her as she scurried off to her room red-faced at being caught completely and utterly in the act, slamming the door as she did.

...

Nick took the stairs two at a time, trying to catch up to Sarah. His brain was trying to process what the hell had just happened, whilst simultaneously wondering what on earth he was going to tell Sarah and how he could fix this. A part of his brain asked him if he even _did_ want to fix this. He'd enjoyed being with Sarah, but what he had just experienced with Jess in those two minutes transcended anything he'd ever felt when he was with her, or anyone, ever. The way his body had reacted to Jess was so primitive, so natural, so...indescribable. He'd still be floating on air if it hadn't been for Schmidt's untimely arrival.

He was expecting Sarah to be mad. To be filled with rage and fury, to yell and scream and cuss at him. Lord knows he deserved it. Instead, he found her sitting silently on a low wall outside.

"I thought you weren't back until the end of the week_"

"Oh, you're right!" Sarah replied with feigned, exaggerated apology "I'm sorry, Nick...please - do go back and carry on where you left off!" She spat.

He grimaced immediately. "That's not what I meant, I swear. I'm sorry..."

"How long has it been going on?"

He looked confused "Nothing's been going on, at all! That just, I didn't...it was...unexpected..." Nick groaned and ran a hand over his face. He genuinely couldn't explain it.

Sarah gave a rueful laugh in response.

"You know, I came back early to see you because I missed you." she said quietly "All the time I was away, I was giving myself a hard time over what happened at the exhibition with Tom. Feeling like I'd let you down. I guess I shouldn't have wasted my time..."

"I'm so sorry - it wasn't meant to happen but it did. I don't even know where it came from, but I can't take it back. Jess and I are friends but...I don't know..." He closed his eyes, sighed in resignation and sank down on the wall next to her "You deserve a better explanation but I just don't have one to give. I really am sorry, Sarah, I don't know what else to say..." Nick placed his head in his hands.

"There isn't anything else you need to say." She got to her feet "The time I had at my parents made me realise that I am strong enough to walk away from things that are damaging to me, like Tom. The crap I went through with him was destructive and, yes, I probably bought some of that upon myself given the circumstances, but I learnt my lesson and I've moved past it." Taking a deep breath, Sarah looked down at him "I've been second best before, Nick. I'm not doing it again." Sarah gave his shoulder a small squeeze "So i'm going to make this easy for you, and walk away..."

...

Jess hid in her room all of the following morning. She couldn't bear to see anyone, especially not the man who had left her in his wake as he ran after his girlfriend. Left her stood, alone, to deal with Schmidt and his overreaction.

Ear to the door, she listened out for sounds of life. When there appeared to be none, she slowly pulled it back and stepped into the hall. With a sigh of relief she took a few steps towards the living area before realising Nick was sat on the couch. He gazed up at her and looked like he had been there all night with his scruffy stubble, sticky uppy hair and tired eyes that didn't seem to have had much sleep. A blanket lay half across his lap, with half a dozen empty beer bottles gracing the coffee table.

"Sorry, I didn't realise you were home." She stuttered and fiddled with the clasp on her purse before asking "Um...how is everything with your...er, Sarah?"

"Let's just say she isn't _my_ Sarah anymore" Said Nick, sliding forward on the couch and rubbing his face with both hands.

"Oh..." she looked at the ground, not knowing how else to react.

Nick gave a little shrug before admitting "To be honest, I think it would have been inevitable whether she'd walked in and seen us or not."

She chanced a look at him.

He was staring right back, unconsciously running his tongue over his bottom lip.

Jess felt her breathing quicken and swallowed hard "Have you been on the couch all night?"

He nodded and stood, walking round to where she was standing.

"I was going to go crash at Big Bob's, but I had a few beers and ended up falling asleep here..."

"Why would you go there?" She frowned.

"I figured you might be mad at me after what happened, I thought maybe I was the last person you'd wanna see this morning." A tiny smile curving the very edges of his mouth.

"What? Nick, no...ok, yes, but i'm not _mad_. Well, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at _me_. I caused all this. I wasn't thinking, I practically threw myself at you for god's sake - and now I'm completely embarrassed because for some reason I just...I just...I couldn't stop myself."

His face melted and he felt a tug in his chest. He reached for her, but she pulled her arm back and turned away from him.

"C'mon Jess, don't do this. Look, I don't know what this thing is between us, but...I think we need to talk about what happened. I mean, is this something that you want?" Nick was terrified to hear her answer to that question because either way he was going to have some crazy emotions to deal with. In truth they had always been there - for him at least.

Jess took a deep breath "I don't know." she whispered "Somehow it just feels...tainted. I can't help thinking this was a mistake."

"Why?"

She looked at the floor in front of his feet and closed her eyes. She hated that she felt like this. Everything that happened had been all she could think about for weeks on end, she finally got what she had desperately longed for, but hadn't been prepared for how the aftermath had made her feel in the cold light of day.

"Tell me!" He urged.

"Because I made you _cheat_!" she cried out, words escaping before she could bite them back.

Nick's face fell. They hit him like a sucker punch to the gut.

" _That's_ why. You cheated on Sarah the same way Spencer cheated on me and *I* made you do it. I hate myself for it. This was my fault and...and I'm sorry..."

He stepped closer, reaching out his hand and taking her tiny fingers in his, thumb stroking the underside of her palm, making her eyes flutter closed.

"It's not your fault, Jess." He spoke softly "I'm to blame too. I _wanted_ to kiss you. I wanted to do it back at the bar and I wanted to do it again last night. You didn't _make_ me do anything...I couldn't help it"

"That's the problem." She said sadly, withdrawing her hand from his and turning on her heel as she walked away and out of the loft. A constant knot in the pit of her stomach, she was consumed with guilt at being the cause of someone else's pain, and nothing he said could help her feel better about it right now.

...

Passing Jess a big pillow and a bigger glass of wine, Cece listened to her friend recount every detail of the incident at the loft last night and the following morning. She could see the sadness in Jess's eyes and hated that this was eating her up inside. Everyone knew there was something bubbling under the surface with those two, it had only been a matter of time before it spilled over. When Jess finished telling the sorry saga about how this was probably just a mistake, Cece narrowed her eyes. She wasn't buying that for a minute.

"I thought this was what you wanted? You and Nick?"

"It was." Jess sighed "It _is_...but, ugh, you didn't see the look on Sarah's face, Cece. She was crushed. I should have known better - I mean, I've been there with Spencer and I know how shitty it feels. I can't believe I did that to someone else...that I made Nick do that to someone else. I knew it was a bad idea, I knew it. I did what you said, I thought about what Jess wanted and look where it got me!"

"Well what did you think was gonna happen, babe? Anyone could have walked in...sadly for you guys, it was her. And Schmidt. He has not stopped talking about it since, I swear..."

"I didn't think about it Cece, and that's the problem. The way I feel when I'm around him, I just...I lost all rational thought. That scares me. I feel like I need to bubble wrap my heart, so I don't have to deal with this."

"Ok, fine. So you have two choices Jessica - you go home, you talk to Nick and face this head on. Figure out what this actually is, or could be."

Jess took a sip of wine before asking "What's the second choice?"

"Self-preservation. You draw a line under this whole thing, wipe the slate clean. Move forward with Nick as your friend and roommate and nothing more." Cece answered with a hint of a smirk, knowing full well she would not be capable of that.

Jess sighed and nodded her head. "Ok. Time to make a choice..."


	14. Chapter 14

***A/N:**

 **I had this chapter written ages ago and I've just been waiting for the rest of the story to catch up! Happy to finally be able to share with you! Hope you like***

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:

It was dark in the loft, and quiet. Schmidt was with Cece at her apartment, and Winston was at work. Jess padded through the hallway to the kitchen, wearing a pale blue, fluffy robe. Hair down, still damp from her shower. She gave a heavy sigh as she reached for a glass and grabbed some juice from the refrigerator.

Yesterday had been awful. She wasn't expecting the truth she'd tried to bury to be be ripped from her lips by his incessant probing.

Maybe it was for the best, perhaps this had all just been a terrible, messy idea in the first place. The line was crossed. Boundaries blurred. And now they had both ended up feeling hurt. She had managed to successfully avoid Nick since walking out last night, but she knew she'd had to face him at some point.

She walked around the kitchen island, her back to the living area. She closed her eyes and willed time to reverse back to that afternoon at the bar where it had all started. That kiss. That damn perfect, delicate, fairytale kiss. It changed everything.

"Hey, Jess" Nick appeared behind her, as if from nowhere, and scared her half to death. She let out a little shriek and dropped the glass to the floor. She span around and watched, helpless, as it smashed right next to her foot.

"Dammit, Nick!" she scolded "What are you even doing here? I thought you were meant to be at the bar?"

Nick had dropped to his knees to collect the broken pieces, and rose slowly, his eyes fixed on hers. He rested one hand on the counter behind her, and reached forward with the other to place the glass out of harms way. He left his hand there, so she was now encompassed by him. Trapped. Close enough to feel the heat of his body. She swallowed hard and took a breath.

"I changed my shift." he said, quietly "We need to talk, Jess"

There was so little space between them now, his words fell on her cheeks. This was torture.

She closed her eyes briefly to regain composure before replying, determined "I don't want to talk about this now..." Jess laid a hand on his right arm and tried to release it so she could escape his hold, but Nick didn't budge.

She sighed and fixed him with a steely, blue-eyed stare.

" _Move_ , Nicholas"

"No." Came his reply, meeting her stare and refusing to break it.

"No? What do you mean, no?!" Jess was incredulous at his pig-headedness "Get out of my damn way, Miller'"

"No, Jessica" he said her name slowly, with intent "I'm not letting you go..."

They both knew he wasn't just talking about right there, right now, in the loft kitchen.

She let out a sigh, and dropped her head, the remaining resolve she had was gone "I can't do this, Nick" her voice was so full of sadness, it nearly broke him "I don't know _how_ to do this! It's too hard..." the words caught in her throat.

"Don't shut me out, Jess. Why won't you just talk to me?" He pleaded

Still avoiding his gaze, she gave her answer. It came out as a choked sob "Self preservation..."

Nick's grasp on the counter immediately relented, and he bought a hand up to her face, stroking his thumb across her cheek. She leant into his palm and kept her eyes closed.

Jess couldn't look at him.

Wouldn't look at him.

Or else she'd be undone.

Instead, Nick bought his forehead to hers and gently rested it there, the two of them stood in perfect stillness, before responding in a low, gravelly, whisper.

"Fuck self preservation..."

Jess took a sharp intake of breath and pulled her head back just enough meet his gaze again. Their eyes locked and her heart jumped. The air crackled between them as he pressed his lips to hers. She kissed him back hungrily and wound her arms around his neck as he pulled her into him. It felt so good to have her in his arms and feel the weight of her against him again.

He broke their embrace to feather kisses down her neck. She let out a soft moan as he reached the spot just below her earlobe. Using the tip of his tongue, he traced up and along her jawline as she gripped the back of his head while whispering his name.

He took a step back to look at her, breathing laboured by his lust. She looked so damn beautiful.

"Jess..." he began, his eyes dark and full of want, but she reached over and placed a finger on his lips. Now was not the time for talking. Surprising herself, she tugged at the cord of her robe, letting it slowly fall off her shoulders onto the floor, leaving her stood naked in the loft kitchen.

Taking in the sight of her, Nick nearly lost himself there and then. His mouth fell open and he saw her glance down, suddenly self conscious under his intense gaze, and his breath caught in his chest.

"Not here" he managed to choke out, before scooping her up in his arms and heading to his room.

Placing her on the bed, he suddenly felt overdressed and removed his shirt whilst she made light work of his belt and jeans. He leant in to kiss her again. Tender, light kisses quickly turned deeper, faster, harder. Tongues parting lips and dancing together.

Bringing himself up on his elbow, his head level with hers, Nick couldn't stop himself from staring at her gorgeous face. Her body beneath his felt better than he'd ever imagined.

"What's wrong?" Jess asked, frowning, after he'd stayed that way for a few moments. Nick smiled as he replied "Nothing" with a shake of his head and a small bite on his bottom lip "Nothing at all..."

Nick ran his hand down over her stomach and revelled in the giggle that escaped Jess's lips as he did. He lowered his palm further, down over her hips, finally landing between her legs and encircling her slowly, drawing soft curses from her mouth as she rocked her pelvis against his fingers. She locked her eyes on his and he kissed her hard on the mouth before moving his lips down to her thighs, teasing her mercilessly before taking her to the brink of ecstasy with his tongue. Butterflies rising in the pit of her stomach, she whispered with urgency "Nick...I need you, _now_..."

"Patience, Jessica!" He flashed her a wicked smile before replacing his tongue with his fingers, working tirelessly to please her. His heart nearly burst in his chest as he saw her eyes flutter closed, and her head tilt back. Her mouth dropping open ever so slightly as she moaned his name. He never wanted to stop hearing that sound. She shuddered against his fingers with a yelp of pleasure and pulled him back up to her, kissing him wildly before breaking away.

"Holy moly!" She exclaimed breathlessly.

"Holy moly?! _Really_ , Jess?" He shook his head and laughed. _That is so Jessica Day,_ he thought.

"Shut up and kiss me again, dummy!" she grinned back, her cheeks flushed.

He bought his other hand up and placed it over hers, lacing them together and pinning her to the pillow as he lowered his forehead down to hers, nudging her nose with his and giving her the smallest, softest kiss against her smiling mouth. A precious, tender moment perfectly contrasting the uncontrollable lust that was threatening to engulf them both.

Jess ran her hand over his strong shoulders and down his back, sending tingles along his spine. She traced her fingers around his waist and moved them underneath until she reached her target. Taking his throbbing hardness in her hand, she felt him draw in a small breath and twitch at her touch.

It was certainly an impressive piece of equipment. _Oh, Nick Miller. Who knew?!_

Jess rhythmically stroked the length of him, softly at first, then worked him harder and faster until he moaned loudly and suddenly moved himself away, causing her to frown at him.

"Jesus, Jess, are you trying to kill me?!" he could barely get the words out.

"Oh, you liked that, huh?' She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Not as much as you're going to like this..." Nick whispered back, smirking.

His breath hitched, body resting heavily over her as he took a moment to regain composure before placing himself between her legs. She gasped as he entered her, Nick growling "oh... _fuck_!" into her ear.

This felt like nothing that either of them had experienced before. Pure, heavenly ecstasy that made every fibre of their being soar skywards. Like two puzzle pieces, they were perfectly linked. Moving together with such intrinsic symmetry it was indescribable.

Her body closed around him as he settled to a slow, deep rhythm. Much to her delight, if her sighs were anything to go by. Feeling her around him was the most amazing thing he had ever encountered, and it was taking all of his self control not to lose himself instantly.

Their bodies were firmly pressed together, eyes locked and breathing fast. Nick dipped his head and placed butterfly kisses over her cheeks, down her neck and onto her breasts. Taking her nipple in his mouth, he sucked gently, tenderly. She groaned and he broke away to grin down at her. He wanted to taste every inch of her body. Hooking one arm under her waist, the other gripped her thigh, lifting her off the bed slightly.

"...oh my god, Nick" she whimpered, as he picked up his pace.

She could feel the waves building, pulsating through her body at the feel of him pressing inside her again and again. Every nerve ending in her body was tingling, her skin on fire from his touch. The intensity was almost more than either of them could take. Nick could tell she was close as she bucked her hips up to meet his and hooked her legs around him, allowing him even deeper. He reached down between them, using the pressure of his thumb to draw small circles at her most sensitive part and tip her over the edge. She tightened suddenly around him, immediately pulling him down with her. He let out a deep moan into her hair and Jess bit down on his shoulder to dampen the sounds of her pleasured cries.

They lay connected for a while afterwards, feeling the rise and fall of each other's breathing as it slowly calmed. Nick rested his head next to hers, and she nuzzled in the crook of his neck, placing tiny kisses right above his collarbone. It made him shudder and she gave the cutest of laughs as she did it again just to elicit the same reaction. Jess protested when he finally rolled away from her, causing him to chuckle and wrap his arm over her waist, pulling her tight into him. So close he could almost get under her skin. Nick breathed in the smell of her hair and let out a contented sigh. She turned her face to his and kissed him hard on the mouth.

"What was that for?" He asked, amused.

Eyes bright, Jess smiled up at him. "Nothing." she giggled and bit her bottom lip

"Nothing at all.."


	15. Chapter 15

* **A/N: Well, here we have it, the final chapter (and epilogue that follows) of my first ever fanfic. Thank you for reading this far. I really hope you have liked reading! I just want to say a big thank you to Laura (mcloz98) for being my beta. You're ace and I'm so grateful. And to my awesome Roomfriends for spurring me on to write and giving their feedback!***

Jess lay in his embrace, naked against him, skin on skin and closer than she ever thought they would be. _Is this what heaven felt like?_ She sure thought so. The strangest thing to her was that it didn't feel weird or uncomfortable in the slightest. This felt like exactly where she was meant to be. Usually after first time sex with a guy, she'd have that awkward moment of looking for her underwear to replace them, or covering herself with a sheet as she headed for the bathroom, the shyness creeping in. But not tonight. Not with Nick. It felt so wonderful to just be held by him, to feel his chest rise and fall behind her so rhythmically, lulling her into a deep slumber with his lips pressed against her neck and his arm firmly secured around her, fingers softly stroking the skin of her stomach. Jess hoped he'd never let go.

She woke an hour or so later, brought back to consciousness by the cool air she could feel on her skin and becoming painfully aware of the lack of contact between her and Nick. She furrowed her brow and realised the weight of him was missing from the bed. Turning over, her heart sank as she saw an empty spot on the mattress where he had previously been laying. She closed her eyes and could feel tears start to prick her eyelids, then suddenly realised exactly where he'd be. Jumping out of his bed and looking for her clothes, Jess remembered she hadn't been wearing any when they came in here...she'd been naked under her robe, and that was currently lying on the floor near the kitchen. _Oops_. Instead, she reached for one of Nick's flannel shirts hanging by the door and hurried out.

...

Jess opened the door to the roof quietly and, sure enough, there he was. In his 'thinking spot' - as he liked to call it - although it looked to have been transformed in to some kind of den. There were cushions and drapes everywhere. She approached quietly, but Nick seemed to sense she was behind him and looked over his shoulder.

"Hey, I thought I might find you up here..."

"Hey..." He just about managed to get the word out, left speechless by the sight of her stood there wearing only his shirt. Nick thought this might possibly be the sexiest thing he had ever seen anyone wear in his entire life. It just about covered her modesty, barely reaching the middle of her thighs. The top buttons were still undone, exposing the pale flesh of her collarbone where he was laying his lips just hours previously. Realising he was staring at her, Nick cleared his throat as she reached his side.

"Can I join you?" she asked

He smiled and patted the cushion next to him.

"Sure, although I think Schmidt and Cece were the last people up here judging by all the soft furnishings - so be careful." he gave a small laugh as Jess screwed her face up and lowered herself gingerly next to him, her left hand grazing the fingers of his right.

They sat in silence, looking up at the stars. Both smiling to themselves, then breaking into uncontrollable grins when they realised the other was doing the same.

"So...that was..."

"Intense!" Jess laughed, cheeks flushing slightly.

Nick chuckled and nodded his head. "I was going to say amazing, but intense works too!"

"But it _was_ amazing" she confirmed quickly "...it was, like..." Jess raised her hands to the sides of her head and made the noise of an explosion before clarifying "...mind-blowing!" They both giggled and looked at the floor like embarrassed teenagers, neither quite knowing what to say next. After a few moments, she spoke.

"Thing is...when I woke up, you were gone" Jess was chewing on her bottom lip "so now I'm wondering what's going on, because we both know Nick Miller likes to run when things get messy. Did we just make this messy?" She gestured between them both with her hand, a worried expression appearing on her features.

He looked at her, faced scrunched up in apology. "I'm sorry. I didn't run...it's just...my mind was racing and I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to disturb you - you looked so peaceful - so I just came up here for some air...to think." He swallowed hard before finishing "I need to talk to you, Jess..."

Her stomach dropped with disappointment. That didn't sound good.

Nick must have seen it flicker across her face, as he reached his hand over to cover hers and laced their fingers together to reassure her, squeezing her hand under his.

"I couldn't stop thinking about what you said before. About me cheating on Sarah the way Spencer cheated on you..."

Jess pulled her hand away and buried her face "Oh my god, Nick, I'm so sorry I said that!"

"Don't be. I'm glad you were honest with me. But I need you to know something - that's _not_ who I am, Jessica. I'm not an unfaithful guy, really, I'm not"

"I know that, look, you don't have to explain..."

"The thing is, when it comes to you, Jess, I think I was always going to end up becoming that person...I'm sorry, but it's true. I can't help it. When I'm around you, thinking about anything or anyone else just isn't possible." He paused and shrugged "I can't explain the effect you have on me..."

Jess let his words sink in before replying quietly "I had no idea you felt like that. I had no idea _I_ felt like that, to be honest. When you started dating her, it hit me like a sledgehammer. Straight up knocked me for six...and I was confused. I tried to push it down, to ignore it. But it got too big to handle and everything started to unravel. I _am_ sorry the way things happened, Nick. And for comparing you to Spencer. I didn't mean to get Sarah caught up in it all. I feel so guilty..."

She looked at the ground but felt his fingers under her chin, bringing her head back up to him.

"You don't need to feel guilty. Sarah and I wouldn't have worked out anyway. All that history with her ex bothered me more than I admitted to myself and I already felt like things were heading south before the crap that happened with them at the gallery. I should have had the guts to end it earlier, I just didn't know how to. As always." He sighed heavily "Truth is, I've wanted to kiss you for a long time, Jess. Even before I knew you felt the same way." Nick reached up to stroke her cheek and she gave him a watery eyed smile. He paused slightly as he considered his next sentence.

"I mean, do I regret the way it happened? A little, yeah. I didn't wanna hurt anyone, that wasn't my intention...but do I regret that it happened at all? No. Never. I'll never regret kissing you."

Jess felt the tears escape her eyes. She swiped them away and giggled shyly as Nick curled his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him. Kissing the top of her head, he spoke into her hair. His voice was soft and the hum of his throat rumbled through her.

"Look, I'm not Spencer. I'm Nick Miller. I'm the kinda guy who is always gonna let you cuddle up to me when we watch a scary movie, the kinda guy who'll come to your aid when your car breaks down, the kinda guy who finds your lost purses and steals your cupcakes..." They both laughed out loud before he pulled back from her and looked deep in to her eyes. He wanted her to feel every word he was about to say "...and, Jessica, I will _always_ be the kinda guy who thinks you are the most beautiful girl in every room you walk in to. So, I'm going to ask you again. Is this something that you want? You and me?"

She played her bottom lip with her teeth. Her heart was thumping in her chest as she answered quietly "Well, I know I definitely don't want to go back to being just your friend, Nick."

"You were never just my friend, Jess. That much I can tell you for sure"

At that, she launched herself forward and claimed his mouth with her own. Kissing him until neither of them had air left in their lungs. She broke away, her breathing rapid and sat back on her heels next to him.

"So, we're doing this?" Nick asked, his eyes shining under the moonlight. Jess smiled as she nodded enthusiastically, reaching for his face, bringing his stubbly cheek closer to her and confirming "We're doing this!"

He kissed her then, slowly and deeply. His tongue exploring her mouth as she parted her lips to him. She tasted sweeter than ever. He could feel his groin throbbing once more, aching for the feel of her again. He groaned against her and she felt herself pulse between her legs. He had no idea how he made her body ignite just from his touch. Jess was also now acutely aware of the fact she was wearing no underwear, as Nick's fingers began to trace their way up her thigh. He pulled back and his eyes widened when he realised. He words were husky in his throat "Oh good god, Jessica Day..."

Grinning, she reached up to unbutton the rest of the shirt but he grabbed her wrist with his free hand.

"No!"

"No?" She asked, giving him a questioning look.

"No..." Nick repeated firmly and shook his head, moving closer to her. His eyes were dark and his breath was deliciously warm on her skin as he pressed his lips to her ear "...leave it on..." he whispered the instruction and a thrill shot through her "Really, Miller?" she purred.

"Really" he growled as he laid her back under the stars, feeling like the luckiest man in the world.


	16. Chapter 16

EPILOGUE:

FOUR MONTHS LATER...

Jess took his outstretched hand, the other steadying her around the waist as she got back up to her feet after collecting the rest of the grapes she'd dropped from the supermarket floor. She looked into his eyes and smiled, grateful for his help.

"Thanks, Paul. I'm such a clutz!"

"Sure, sure. No problem. I can't very well leave a lady whining in distress now can I?...Oh! Whining!... _Wine_ -ing...get it? Ha!"

She laughed genuinely. _Oh Genzlinger_. He never disappointed.

"Hey Jess! Look at this amazing carrot I just found...does it seem familiar to you? I swear it's an exact replica of...Oh..." Stopping in his tracks as he reached her, Nick looked back and forth between Jessica and the guy in front of him. _Seriously? You've got to be kidding me?!_

"Paul?"

"Nick?"

Another voice came out from behind them, standing alongside Genzlinger and adding to the confusion.

"Nick?"

"Sarah?!"

 _Ok, this just got weird..._

"I, um...so this...you two are...?' Nick was suddenly feeling very uncomfortable and stringing a coherent sentence together was proving difficult for him. He was relieved when Jess snaked her arm around his, and he instantly felt his muscles relax. He tried again "So, you two are together?" he asked, trying to hide the surprise in his voice.

"Uh, yeah. Yes!" Said Paul excitedly, pulling Sarah in for a hug. "We met a couple months ago when I went to an exhibition at the gallery with an Art teacher buddy of mine. We recognised each other from your party, actually...so...I guess thanks are in order!" There were awkward chuckles all round but Paul continued regardless "I mean, Jess, if you hadn't turned me down that night because you were in love with Nick, then none of this would have happened! How great is that? This is so awesome!"

Jess felt her cheeks flood with colour. She was vaguely aware of Nick trying to contain a smug grin from creeping across his face and was doing her best not to look at him. Damn you, Paul.

"Huh...yeah...funny how things turn out...but I never said...you know what, nevermind!" She mumbled, the embarrassment spreading through her body. "Great to see you, Paul. You too, Sarah...well, we'd better be going, these grapes won't buy themselves!"

She tugged Nick away after exchanging goodbyes and stopped once they were safely out of view, screwing her face up and closing her eyes.

"Jessica Day..." Nick teased

"Don't!" She groaned. "Please, don't..."

He laughed and kissed her on the cheek "You learn something new every day" he said as he began to walk towards the checkout with a strut. She followed hot on his heels "Just for the record, Nick...I never told Paul I loved you."

"Whatever you say, Day..." He smirked and she punched him playfully.

"Nick! I didn't!"

"Sure thing, doll...now, about this carrot I found..."

...

Nick leaned up against the back door of Jess's car, hands in his pockets with right leg crossed over left. He couldn't help but watch as she loaded the last bag of groceries in to her trunk and closed it with a bang. She looked at him, triumphant "Ha! Got the sucker to stay closed this time, yay me!" Nick found himself smiling at her joy in something so insignificant to most, it was infectious. As she walked towards the driver's side, he stood up, reached out his right arm and wound it around her waist, tugging her into him and clasping his fingers together in the small of her back. Jess giggled and allowed herself to be pulled into his warm embrace, placing a hand over the spot on his chest above his heart and feeling it beat for her. She looked up at him, his deep, brown eyes staring so tenderly into hers and he dipped his head to give her the smallest kiss on her delicate lips. Then he kissed her again, and again, and again until she broke away laughing at him.

"What's that for, Miller?" She chuckled as she wound her arms around his neck, stretching up on tiptoes so she could be level with his face.

"Just because you looked so damn cute after your victory with the trunk of your car...and because I can...'cos you're my girlfriend." He looked at her and cocked his head.

"What...?" She asked

"Just for the record, Jess...I knew I loved you way back then, too..."

...

Nick had surprised himself, being far better at this boyfriend role than he was expecting to be given his past experiences.

With Caroline, he never felt good enough and she had a habit of compounding that feeling. He was on edge and unsure for the majority of their time together, second guessing himself constantly. It was difficult and hard work. With Julia, he had gotten far too intense and was overthinking everything. He just couldn't tell what was going on inside her head and it confused him. With Sarah, it had been fun, he couldn't deny that. They were good together, but it just hadn't felt like it was going anywhere. Probably due to his reservations about her past but noticeably, he hadn't missed her like he should have when she started working more and he began spending more time with his roommates. He'd stopped putting in the effort, and that's when he knew that good just wasn't going to be enough. There was something more he craved. He had almost felt relieved when she'd walked in on him and Jess kissing, when she made the decision for the both of them and walked away. A cowardly thing to think, he knew that, but true.

With Jess, it was different. _So different_. She made him smile constantly and he couldn't believe he was lucky enough to have this beautiful woman by his side every day. And in his bed most nights. Him in her bed on the others. The sex was phenomenal...out of this world. He had genuinely had no idea it could be so good until he and Jess had opened that door. But, my god, was he so glad they did. He knew her inside and out already, and she him. She never let him doubt himself and always believed in him. Her zest for the things she loved was contagious, and he was happy to let it seep into his veins and carry him away too. Suddenly life seemed brighter, more colourful, and it was all because of this lady he held in his arms.

Jess made it so easy to love her, which in turn made it easy for Nick to let himself be loved.

Entirely, thoroughly, wholly, completely... _loved_.

...

 ***A/N - Thank you for reading! I loved writing this! I really appreciate feedback so feel free to share and review. And you can check out my other fics I have since uploaded too :) ***


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